Christmas!

Just a day more to Christmas! Halleluyah!! :)

Hubby will be in KL for the first time in 30 years...hahaha... it shall be a blast!

Blogging on my blackberry

Ok, I think I haven't blogged a full serious entry for like a whole year. And the year has been so full that I just haven't had the time.

Summary of the year would be... Got a dog (jack russell puppy), got retrenched... Planned wedding...searched for job... Had Wedding... Went for honeymoon...found a job... Started new job (all the way in KL)... Parents moved from ttdi to new place next door to my eldest sis... Dad had surgery for his prostate cancer. Hubby got admitted to hospital for his back... So a lot of things have happened in this one
year. Things that I should have blogged about but somehow life got to be too much and blogging was put into the back burner. However it was never forgotten and it has been nagging at me for some
time to start blogging again. Though typing on the bb might not be the most condusive ways to do it... but hey at least I'm getting to it :)

Oh Xmas will be here soon. I so want to put up my Xmas tree... But its just not the same without my two boys here to do it with me like last year :( sigh... and I so wanted a new tree for this year but it looks
like there won't be any tree at all. Oh well.... At least my Xmas shopping is all done ;)
--

Sent from my mobile device
*********************************************
~meifung~
"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she
wants, rather than to create it herself."

Feel so stuck

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined"
- Henry James

This quote makes me feel so sad, like what happened?? All the imaginations of youth, are they gone once you hit 30?? shieeeeeeetttttt

Resuscitating my blog

Oh man, thought i would write again and sorta do up my blog. But after the new template was put in, all my old post went psycho :p should i spend more time to go into each old post and redo the alignment and etc?? it would take too much time!! oh well, i guess aside from me, no ones gonna be looking at it... i think .. hehe.

Testing from Mobile Phone

Testing to see whether my mobile can b used to blog

Testing Testing

testing email blogging. ********************************************* ~meifung~

Sigh... there goes another month

Dang! There goes another month... arrrrrggggghhhhh... my last post was 10 of July... shieeettttt.... one month liow. Aiyoh, its like i'm bring robbed of time!! This whole week has been sooooo packed with getting ready for Saturday's event. Every night go home feeling so tired and battered =( Dis can't be worth it la. Work until times flies away yet... no personal satisfaction... sigh The only thing that I did this month that was worth remembering was... hmmm... bought my wedding ring :) ... and this bible verse:

Philippians 4: 4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Aside from that I don't think that this month has anything much worth mentioning... which is sucky =p I hope the coming month would be better.

why I have not written for so long...

Its been quite some time since i last wrote an original entry. Life has been hectic =p

As most would know by now, I just got engaged on 15th of June :)

So since then we've been trying to settle on a load of stuff... you can't imagine the amount of things that has to be bought, booked, reserved, etc etc... and we are already keeping it really really simple.

The actual wedding day will be in 2009. We won't be doing any pre-wedding photos... so won't have any photos to put up. The only one I have is this (its my engagement ring) I really love the setting :) No claws... simple & classic... Its not huge or gaudy... its perfectly ME ;) Right now we're trying to keep the wedding simple and meaningful. Not a big big bash with half the ppl which we don't even know. Ok, so now that I've gushed over my ring and upcoming wedding, let me get back to why I have not been writing. On top of planning for the wedding, of course the usual busy-ness of life, i.e. work and etc has really taken alot of my time. I haven't even been reading anyone's blog, much less writing mine. However yday a close friend of mine told me about how her colleague suddenly passing away at the very young age of 33. That's like only 4 years older than me. Its scary, freaky and all that. But ultimately it slaps you in the face and kinda wakes you up on what's important in life. You start thinking... tomorrow it could be me. How many of us are able to say with conviction that I've done all that I've dreamed and hope to do and if tomorrow I die I will have no huge regret. I definitely for one can't. There seems to be so many things in life that I have not done or experienced. I remember writing a list of things (in my blog in 06) that I wanted to do before I die and unfortunately most of them I have not started on even though its been abt 2 years now. How much of our lives are taken by the BUSY-ness of the world? And the world is really good with keeping us busy, there are always new movies, new songs, new games, new books, new applications, new gadgets, new tv series, new shopping centres, new restaurants, new brands of shoes, bags, clothes.... so much to do, so little time. And essentially we really have so little time. And how are we spending it? The only way we can experience all the "new" experiences is if we have enough money to buy / spend on them... (And I know it, i mean I'm getting married and flowers alone are freaking expensive!) therefore we work more and more, wanting more and more in terms of money and having less and less time... its a vicious cycle. We want new things, new experiences, but we give up so much of our time trying to earn the ability to experience these new things, yet we end up having no time to enjoy them. Sigh... No wonder there's now even a quarter life crisis, we spend all our time running around in a circle. Of course we don't know what we're doing and wat's the meaning of life! How can there be meaning if all we're doing is running around in circles like a rabid dog. So, what now? For me I've always wanted to draw, paint, write, experience the beauty out there...contemplate... take pictures... be free... bake, cook... laze under the sun... play with puppies :) walk in the rain... And so, here I am back to writing again. Its the one and only thing that I can do right now that won't take too much effort or time away from all the things that I have to do. Damn, I have a teleconference in 15mins... gotta go. The world is once again extending its creepy fingers into my life and trying to choke it. Sigh.

When the lovey dovey feelings fade...

This story tells us something about..... LOVE & LIFE ... a little bit long but be patient ... My husband is an engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and..I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him? And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality,and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.... If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind." Let's say; I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff,and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?" He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes.... My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but.... please allow me to explain the reasons further....." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk..." I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does,and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away,and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE The happiest people in the world... are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. LOVE is not just between two lovers, husband and wife--it also encompass; mother, father and siblings, sisters and brothers, friends, neighbours and colleagues

Please pass on to those whom you love…

A blast from the past before the current petrol hike....

found this article from long long ago... so sad la live in Msia... sigh Can A Family Man With Salary RM3,000 Survive In Malaysia? Let's do some simple calculations here. In Malaysia , the average family income is RM3,000 /month where father works, mother doesn't). I understand there are many families whose monthly income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take RM3,000 as the figure. Ok lah, right? Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son. Ngam-ngam .... Calculation starts... Electricity and water bill: RM100 (No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater ... ok?) Phone bill ( Telekom): RM100 Meals for a happy family: RM775 (3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons...?) Papa makan / teh-tarik during working hrs: RM155 (RM5/day, RM5 .. can eat what?) Car repayment: RM400 (A proton saga aeroback, 7 yrs repayment) Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300 (go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running) Insurance: RM650 (kids, wife and myself) House repayment: RM750 (low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!) Tuition: RM80 (got that cheap meh? i don't think so) Older children pocket money @ school: RM20 (RM1/day, eat bread?) School fees: RM30 (enough ah?) School books and etc: RM100 (always got extra to pay in school) Younger children milk powder: RM50 (cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive) Miscellaneous: RM100 (shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper) Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so... No Astro, no movie @ cinema, no DVD, no CD, no online, cannot KFC, cannot McDonald, cannot go Park walk during weekend (petrol expensive), no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and etc... Let's use a calculator to total up... WALAO EH! Shit! RM3,610 already... EPF belum potong, income tax lagi........oledi RM3,610 .... How to survive lah tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian ??? Our Deputy Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle? How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study? Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of rakyat Malaysia which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!! What is this? Inilah Malaysia Boleh... Sorry ... it should be Malaysians Boleh , because we're still alive and kicking!! Our politicians must be mad!!!! Please forward and comment boleh or tak boleh. No wonder so many Ah Loong around lah... ...

when will there be actual change??

Agence France-Presse - 6/12/2008 9:05 AM GMT

Malaysia's corruption at critical level: watchdog

Corruption in Malaysia has reached a critical level as the country falls in international rankings, a graft watchdog announced Thursday, warning the government to act or lose its competitiveness.

The UN's Asia-Pacific Human Development Report highlighted an International Country Risk Guide finding which saw Malaysia decline from a score of 4.00 in 1996 to 2.38 in 2006, with a lower score representing greater corruption.

"It is worrying because it is a business index which reflects on our domestic investment, foreign direct investment and confidence in the economy," said Ramon Navaratnam, country head of graft watchdog Transparency International.

"Corruption is at a critical level here," he said.

He said corruption in Malaysia was deeply entrenched in the negotiation of contracts. Bribes were paid to government officials to speed up trade licences, for police protection and for loan transactions.

"Our economic structure, the way we do business here, needs to be reviewed, renewed and redesigned," Navaratnam said, warning that Malaysia could lose its competitive edge if it remained "complacent and inefficient."

"Malaysia can do much better if there is stronger political will to fight corruption. Given the rapid pace of globalisation and increasing economic competition among Asian countries, it's time to pull our socks up," he said.

Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi was elected on an anti-corruption platform in March 2004, but opposition leaders say progress has been slow.

Following his government's recent drubbing in national polls he announced several measures to tackle corruption and reform what many view as a compliant judiciary.

A royal commission recently authenticated a tape showing a top lawyer brokering judicial appointments with the help of politicians during the premiership of former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad.

Earlier this week, a senior judge said judges were indoctrinated and threatened with dismissal to pressure them into making pro-government decisions during the former premier's rule.

Stupid petrol hike!

Man with Balls of Steel?

As most who read the papers would know by now, today Raja Petra Kamarudin was called to court and put in detention for his blogging. Now for those of you who don't read his blog, well, let's put it this way, this guy writes with such honesty that most are surprised that he hasn't been taken in by ISA before this. Anyway, the powers that be is once again trying to put this guy in jail for sharing his thoughts on his blog. He has refused to pay the bail and has been put in detention. Some would say that it was a stupid move... but i think it's a brilliant move. The powers that be have literally shot themselves in their feet. How much outrage and publicity would this create? Not just locally, but internationally as well... how many people would surge to now go and read his blog? I certainly went and read it. And now I'm writing about it too. Multiply that exponentially with the 6 degrees of separation, heck millions would be reading his blog by today. I'm not as eloquent in my writing as RPK, neither do I have such balls of steel as he does, so do visit his site at http://www.malaysia-today.net/2008/ This is a man that isn't afraid to just say it and put it out there for everyone to read. Got to give it to him, he really is a man with balls of steel ;)

Who are you? Do you know?

Have you ever seen, met or heard about someone you once knew and wondered who are they now? With these things called Facebook, High5, Friendster & etc etc... I'm suddenly confronted with pictures of people who I can't even remember if I knew them =p

Some profiles I see and wonder, what and who is this person now? Knew them once upon a time...but how about now? Aside from the obvious job title or whether the person is married or single, I wonder WHO aRE they...what have they been doing... how much has changed in their lives? I'm sure some have seen my profile and wondered the same "Whatever happened to Chan Mei Fung..wow, she's gotten fat...OMG she's going out with an Indian..." and I can only wonder what else people say =p

There's always the ones that have "new names" and only upon closer inspection does it dawn upon you its a person you once knew as some chinese name. Or there are some that have changed so much in outward appearance that you wonder if you've got the right person.... those that become swans...become very thin, or very fat, or very pretty or glamorous... and of course those that've moved far far away...

I'm mostly in awe or wonder of those that have gotten married and have a few kids in tow. Its a whole "cannot connect" in my system. Hahaha.... Once again, please i'm not saying getting married is bad, its a wonderful thing. I'm thinking more like, how????? How do you decide at 18, 20, 22 that you're ready to make a commitment for life, that you're ready to bring life into this world. Into a world that at 22 you might not understand that well yourself.

At 29 I'm still discovering myself, and my thoughts, my views and everything around me... the world, politics, people, culture, personalities, God, principles..etc... and of course what I want in my life. What legacy do I want to leave behind? I can't imagine committing myself with someone for the rest of my life and bringing new life into this world without first knowing or having my own actual standing or principle in life and etc. Only now am I actually discovering being totally "independent" of my family or parents. I used to think that I really was independent. I paid my own way for everything since 18 and I have a steady career. I made all my own decisions, no 'curfew', no answering to anyone abt things that i do and etc etc. BUT no matter what I was still living under my parents' roof. Somehow there was still an umbrella of 'family' that would take care of where we lived and if the TV at home breaks down, someone (i.e. my dad) would fix it (btw, my tv has broken down, so if by the off chance, pa, if u're reading this, could u fix it??). Or if i wanted to invite a group of friends over just to lepak, I had to tell my parents to be 'scarce'. Don't get me wrong I had my freedom, but there were boundaries which I subconsciously kept to because it was still my parent's home and there were so many things I really didn't need to think of.

Now, I'm finally out of that invisible boundary. And this makes me have all the freedom to decide on what I want to do, how I want to do it and etc. And its exhilarating. Any decision I make is my own. I don't have to pass it by anyone if I didn't want to. And having this platform, is an "eye-opener" because this is where you choose who you want to be, who you are, what defines you. Not what other people (i.e. your parents, your bf, your husband, your children) want, but what you want in YOUR life. You make the decisions, and you reap the repercussions, whether good or bad.

So now that I'm here, where I am... I'm beginning to be who I'm suppose to be... and to me, only now i can really make the decisions that 'make me' who I am. So back to, how does one make all those life defining choices when you're so young and bright eyed? Is it no wonder that so many marriages fail now? I'm sure there are those that succeed... but who are we kidding, look at the divorce rate now. However most of us lead the normal life of a 20++++ (notice how many ++ there were) wondering what is it all for blah blah blah... what's the meaning of life, what am I here for... and all end up doing the same old same old usual stuff like study, get a degree, get a job, get a car, get bf/gf, get married, move out, have kids blah blah blah ... its like auto-pilot ....its just only a matter of when we do it... some choose to do it young and way before being able to even establish in themselves 'who i am' . So why?? I believe some (and of course myself included ...sometimes) just go with the flow... not really thinking or putting any effort or thought into the why and what it all means... so, can we really know who we are if we just follow the flow?? I seriously doubt it... If you don't break the waves, how can you have your own directions and make your own waves?

So here I am now, at 2.30am, awake and wondering, "who am I'? - oh, but dun get me wrong, I'm not in those depressing moods of what am i doing here, what am i doing with my life, etc etc Actually, I'm in a good place right now. I believe up to now my life has been absolutely blessed by God. True that things of course don't always go my way - that's not a blessed life, that's just a spoilt life if everything went my way-. I think I'm really blessed because I have been given the chances, the ability, and the freedom to choose who I want to be; to make the choices that 'make me'. Some wonderful 'quotes' I came upon quite some time back sums it all up really well...

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -Abraham Lincoln

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all" - Oscar Wilde

I think that to just 'exist' and just 'go with the flow' would be just sad. I'm pretty sure that God didn't put us here just to 'exist'.

Point to ponder....

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still? - J. Paul Getty

I'm happy :)

I'm happy....

... because I have my best friend back

:)

Nice, meaningful lyrics abt life...

"The Heart Of The Matter" [originally performed by Don Henley] I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear But I knew that it would come An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone She said you found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And all the struggles we went through How I lost me and you lost you What are these voices outside love's open door Make us throw off our contentment And beg for something more? I've been learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore These times are so uncertain There's a yearning undefined And people filled with rage We all need a little tenderness How can love survive in such a graceless age And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness Are the very things we kill, I guess Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms And the world they put between us, You know it doesn't keep us warm I've been trying to live without you now But I miss you, baby The more I know, the less I understand And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my heart is so shattered But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore All the people in your life who've come and gone They let you down, you know they hurt your pride Got to put it all behind you; cause life goes on You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside I wanna be happily ever after And my heart is so shattered But I know it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter Because the flesh gets weak And the ashes will scatter So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness Forgivenessssss...... Even if you don't love me anymoreeeeeeeee Even if you don't love me anymore

Corrupt morons?

Today my colleague showed me an article from the chinese newspaper "Sin Chew" which totally shocked and appalled me. It showed officers in the Selangor secretariat's office shredding official documents. But since I can't read chinese I went online wanting to see whether this was reported in the official English newspapers, and I was disgusted that it was not covered in the The Star or NST. They covered the IGP saying that no such thing as destroying official documents were happening (bull!!) So being absolutely disgusted with these "corrupt morons" (as a friend so aptly calls them) here are some links of the article & pictures: http://subangjayan.blogspot.com/2008/03/selangor-state-official-destroying.html

http://rafza.blogspot.com/2008/03/abang-z-past-away-selangor-document.html

http://shashinki.com/blog/2008/03/11/selangor-state-officers-destroy-documentssulit/

If I had any doubt on my not voting for BN, this has totally cemented my voting for the opposition. How can we let these "corrupt morons" continue to do such things to us citizens?? Right now I'm waiting for what UMNO has to say about how their wonderful MB has been behaving. Or will they just keep quiet, do nothing, shut the media up and hope we forget by the next election?? The irony of all the hoo-haa abt needing to do a post-mortem on why BN lost so many seats. Are they stupid, blind or deaf??? Or rather maybe they wished all of us citizens were stupid, blind and deaf??

Elections; did you vote?

For the first time in 29 years, I went to vote on Saturday. I was pleasantly surprised as there were no lines, no waiting (could this BE happening in Malaysia?? ;) hehe) and the whole experience was pretty cool. I suddenly felt so adult and responsible. Doing my duty as a responsible citizen! :) No surprise that I voted for the opposition. Not something or opinion that I've been hiding from everyone. But the point of this post is... it felt great to vote :) I felt that I made a difference (especially since all the results came out). Its really easy to "talk" politics, complain and gripe about all the s**t that happens in the govt. Abt how this MB is doing this, not doing that, makan duit, blah blah blah... but soooooooooooooooooo many ppl just do that... "talk". That's all they do. Bcos when I asked quite a number of young working adults, ALOT (and I mean ALOT) are not even registered to vote!! OK, I'm not the most patriotic person around, but the one time you can do something about making a change, you don't. Then why complain??!! Live with the s**t, cos you made the s**t happen by not voting. On saturday night, watching the results come in on ntv7, they shared that this election, there were only approx 1,500 new voters registered. I asked "so little???? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???" Where are all the people who loveeeeeeeeeee to talk politics?? However in 2006, there were 14 THOUSANDchinese people (yes in thousands) migrated or gave up their citizenship. It is so sad...Is that how we make a change? By leaving? Anyway, now that the elections are over and the results are out. Let's see if the change has made a difference, I seriously seriously hope and pray that it will make a difference. It is time for a change.

R.I.P. ....

My 3 cactus have all died :( To those that were making such a ruckus about it being bad luck and all (pls refer to my old blog entry - No to Feng Shui!) , well goes to show my God is stronger!! HAH!