Light & Easy

Today I will be posting something light & easy. And at the same time importing all my old blog postings. Its a cold and rainy morning...the best weather to stay in bed :) Unfortunately, have to go work :( So instead of working I shall blog and pick fights on Facebook ... hehe... The year is coming to an end... it seemed to have sailed past on fast forward and my birthday is looming. Sigh. I will be getting older... i'm not too sure about being any wiser . But I certainly feel old. At work I see all these young little lambs coming in from Uni, expecting the world to treat them well becos, heck for no good reason but because they exist la....kakaka... are they in for a rude awakening =p Anyhoo, back to me. Was looking at my new year's resolution from beginning of this year and I'm wondering whether in one month's time I can loose the 7kgs that I "resoluted" to lose....kekeke... I don't know why I even bothered to make the resolution since I love to eat so much =) I guess I could go to the gym more often... but its just so ....haiiiiiii.... boring =p Was suppose to go to the gym today... but yet again I have made excuses to no need to go :) This post started in the morning... and now its actually end of the day. My goodness how time flies. Its time to go home liow. Time to go home and eat...muakakakaka....

What's the hardest decision you've ever made?

Seriously what has been the hardest decision you've ever made? Would it be which Uni you went to? What job to do? Which girl or guy to marry? Which car to buy? Where's the best area to buy a house? Well, for me, my hardest decision has been to be a Christian. Yes, I can hear all the *gasping* and the sharp intake of breath, thinking this girl is being "blasphemous!!"... how can she say dat??!! Well, I'm saying it. Choosing to be a Christian is a decision that has been one of the hardest decisions that I've had to live up to. And I refuse to dress it up in pretty little pictures. Heck anyone that knows me well enough knows that I'm one of the most practical and cynical person. I could have argued with anyone until the sun came up on all things Christian. And yet, I'm a Christian. And alot of ppl still wonder why...haha. Its really not easy. Its really not all flowers, beautiful things and happy happy thoughts (that's probably why nobody thought I'll become a Christian... I'm not eaxctly ms. giggly & sweet =p ) And I am really sick of ppl who want to paint it as that. That's why I'm saying it. Choosing to be a Christian is just hard. Your life problems don't disappear overnight. You're still the same person in the same skin (and trust me, my skin sucks =p) What is hard about being a Christian? Loving people... all people... regardlessly and unconditionally (And please don't get me wrong, loving people doesn't mean smiling endlessly at everyone and "act" like you're suddenly their best friend). Turn the other cheek when you're wronged. Another one would be pleasing God. Being a witness of his love... so many =p So the natural question would be, then why are you a Christian?? Why choose something that is so hard? I know everyone has their own reason. But my reason was just that no one else on this planet will ever love me fully. Especially if they knew me for all my weakness, all my bad habits and temper, etc..etc... Not my parents, not my bf, not my grandparents (tho they come close..) ... Seriously no one. And at my lowest and at the point where I felt the loneliest and most "un-loved", i knew God loved me. That God is there, whether you acknowledge him or not, or believe in Him or not. He is just there. And that is the one thing about Christianity... its Love. Jesus died for us out of love. Love is at the base, the core...Its a relationship. And with all relationships, its hard. Its voluntary. It can't be forced. And God really really doesn't force us. Which makes it soooooooooooo easy to just not love him. To just act like He's not there. Do as we please. Kinda like when you're a teenager and you know your parents love you and would be damn disappointed that you skipped school, but yet you do it bcos you can. And even if you do get caught, they'll still love you. So heck, let's just have fun. So then of course there's always questions... and doubts and worries and wondering. Basically I believe in something/someone that I can't see (not like your parents which can cane you or smack you silly =p) That to everyone else, i can't hear, can't have a conversation with, can't touch... so that brings up the, how do u you know He really is there??...and does the God that I believe in really actually exist?? I can't answer it in a way that enables someone who's never experience it to be able to "experience" it with just my words. I'm sure many can give you the nicest, rosiest pictures of a relationship with God. Well, I can't. Really I don't hear an audible voice. No tangible thing to hold on to or a statue to bow or stare at... But sometimes at the most quiet times... staring just at a baby... you would know that God's hands were there. (heck, that baby didn't burst out of a rock la =p) I guess it would be easy if I just choose to not think about it. Blind faith. But God never asked for blind faith. He did ask for "Child like" faith, but not blind faith. He never said, don't ever ever ever question me. Just obey every rule!! No, He's not like that. He just lets you be. And its like... He's given you the free will to choose what you want to do. Down to even if you want to believe he exist or not. Sigh. And free reign over your own choices is one of the hardest things..... :( But because I believe He does exist. And He does give me comfort and He is always there regardless, its a choice that I have to keep to. Everyday I have to choose to be a "christian". As best as I can. And I worry everyday that one day I might choose the easy way out. To just ignore His existence. To be just like everyone else and lead my life as I please. But somehow inside me I know that would just make me feel even more empty and lost. So hard as it may be, I'd rather have a life with God's presence than to go about as I please feeling empty and lost.

No to FENG SHUI!!

These are my cactus. I have them on my window sill in my office. They are lovely plants to have. Resilient & tough as nails. I love my cactus cause it doesn't need much care to blossom. Now today a few things went wrong, and my colleagues tell me to get rid of my lovely cactus because its BAD feng shui. They've been telling me since day one to get rid of them for they will bring me bad luck. Its simply preposterous to blame it on the cactus. That the wind and the water and the watever is not in balance therefore things go wrong. Come on. Everything that went wrong was from human error. Not like the cactus called the printer and told them to print the thing wrong. Nor did they call the event organiser and told them not to send the forms to us. To blame everything that goes right or wrong based on the wind and water and blah blah blah (watever fengshui mumbo jumbo applies) its just man's way of saying "hey, it wasn't me, it was the cactus." Let me make my stand clear. I believe God made man. God made plants. God made the seas, the rivers, the mountains... basically everything. And no plant or fish or frog or turtle placed in whatsoever position or watsoever "great" timing changes God's plans for me. God makes the decisions, for He is my creator. To tell God that "I don't want to trust you for my future, I want to trust that I can use water, plants, animals to deal with my future..." is basically saying "God I don't need You BUT I'll rely on things You created..." I don't know about you, I think that sounds pretty stupid dun it?

Thanking God!

I dreaded to come to work today... only thinking about problems at work and how to solve it etc. Like normal la right...we only think about how life is difficult for us.... until i got an email from a friend... about some of the poorest people in china and how they live... and I was absolutely slapped back into place, that I've really got it good. I wish I could put up the powerpt file here, but looks like I can't attach any files. Bottomline, while I'm sitting here with aircon, clean clothes, proper shoes, breakfast to eat... there's millions out there that live in rooms filled with rubbish (which is how they earn a living, they sort thru and sell rubbish)...no money for medicine, for education, just getting by day by day from other's discarded rubbish..... and I'm so ashamed cause here I am thinking I don't earn enough, my house needs alot of stuff..etc..etc... Man I am small :( We complain all the time, service is bad, food is not nice, this sucks, that sucks, govt sucks, work sucks, too little time, not enough money, the list goes on and on... But actually how many of us take the time each day to thank God for how really good our lives are? And come on as long as you're reading this, your life is good. So I dunno about you, but I certainly think I have to start thanking God each and everyday.

SUCCESS!!

Yes!! I managed to export my old blog postings!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!! However its a lot of work. It has to be done one by one...sigh.... oh well, at least it can be done :)

Why a new blog...

Sigh... i have not blogged for a long time now. The last time i wrote anything was in April and on my Friendster blog. More than 6 mths ago. However I don't really use Friendster now, therefore I thought, heck I'll start writing again but on Blogspot. I vainly tried to "export" all my old postings from Friendster... but i failed miserably. I might get to it one find day. But not right now. Too lazy =p Now why have i not been blogging? Various reasons... the ever popular "too busy" is high on the list. Secondly, it came to a point where i was too tired of watching what i write. In essense a blog is to express oneself. But if everytime i wrote i think "oh no, this that person would be reading it and they might not like it, i might get reprimanded etc etc" (and I have gotten that), then blogging becomes a very stressful activity. However, as I have just recently been told by Shaun (my bf), I should write regardless of what others say. Gave it some thought and so here I am. Rambling online to nobody in particular ;) I don't know who will read this, and I don't really care. Cause its just me and my confused thoughts. And it feels good to be able to express all my stupid and confused thoughts. Alrighty, back to work now, more later :)