Freedom of speech, ever heard of it??

Its sad that at this day and age, there are still many people persecuted for speaking out loud, especially against injustice, immorral acts, wrongful conduct & etc...this of course is very evident in the recent rallies and the police stopping them with force and violence. Many are currently now using blogs and the internet to voice out their frusfrations and getting their voice out there to be heard. Now I have no such lofty aspirations with my blog, as I really don't think I have much "insights" to share especially about the political situation in Malaysia. However, I would like to talk about something much more closer to home. Previously, I had my blog on Friendster... and I blogged basically about anything happening in my life at the moment... now, I of course try to never name names nor step on anyone's toes with my blogging, however I did get some "advise" as to not to blog about certain aspects in my life or etc.... this "advise" was given as I'm a Christian, and therefore should be an example. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure they had all the good intentions to advise me on that. However, due to their advise I felt very pressured whenever I wrote... I kept thinking, who will read this... whenever i post something, I would worry whether i would then later get a call. All in all, after a while, I got fed up of writing since I kept looking behind my back to see whether I would get any repercussion from my posting. The thing was, my post were nothing but just my views. Why I'm writing about it now is because I actually have a friend that's going through the same thing now. She has resorted to password protecting her post; which i feel is very sad... writings which she used to share with friends and family are now something she feels compelled to hide because it might not agree with other people's views. And she would get phone calls and emails lecturing her on her views and how she should not voice them out. I know that even writing about it now, many would think I'm actually advocating that Christian's are a pyscho lot that would want to "mum" their believers. Which is definitely not true.... God does not stop anyone from speaking their minds. In actual fact, the Bible clearly shows that Jesus went around, talking to people, advising people and telling truth, more than anything else in the three years before he was crucified. Yes, he did miracles. He healed people. But most of all, He talked, he ministered, and he stood up and pointed out what was wrong. He spoke out against injustice and immorality. He did not keep mum, even though many tried to get him to shut up. So now back to now, my friend is sharing her life, her struggles, what she thinks is right or wrong... and yet she feels that her opinions are not just not taken into consideration, but rather she's told to not share her opinions. Now, I might or might not agree with what she has said, or might say in the future, but who are we to judge what she says?? Who are we to stop her from having free speech? You might read this and misunderstand that being a Christian we are not allowed to voice out our fears, frusfrations, anger and etc. That is NOT true. Its not God that says we can't. Its people who try to play God that stops others from having opinions other that their own. It happens everywhere... it just so happens that right now I'm talking about being a Christian and facing it. Everyone does it or goes through it, regardless of religion or race. But what I'm standing for right now is that, being a Christian, we should not be the ones that stop people from having an opinion. Nor should we judge people for thinking and acting differently than from the norm or the accepted way which we think should be the way. Everyone is different, everyone has a right to their own opinions and there are different ways to express one self. We should not judge or dismiss a person's opinions just because they are different from ours. Freedom of speech ;) God bless and good night.

New place to eat ....

There was a new restaurant that opened in my office building (Jaya33 for those who are blur), its an Italian restaurant. And its called d'Italiane Kitchen.

So yesterday for lunch my collegues and I went to try it out ;) Bottom are the pictures taken by my colleague.

We had three different types of pastas. Price range was from RM18++ for a plate of pasta. I had the carbonara... it was quite thick with lots of beef bacon and mushrooms. I could only finish half the plate cause it was quite the creamy and filing. The other pasta that I ordered for my colleague (he let me mah) was a fried spaghetti with prawns... dun remember the name leh =p But it was very nice =)

Didn't try other dishes since it was lunch and already i was so full. Will definitely go again and try the other stuff. They look good in the menu :) Oh and the environment was ok la, very minimalistic. White walls, ceiling and chairs too. Very white white. Makes the place feel very clean ;) But not like romantic or anything la.... maybe its different at night but in the afternoon it was very bright.

All in all, pasta wise it was nice :) Environment, so so. Will go again ;)

U know Christmas is here when....

U know Christmas is here when my living room floor is littered with gifts and wrappers and boxes and ribbons.... and me drowning under it =p Yes, I have started my Christmas shopping... i would say almost 90% complete. Trust me, I'm behind schedule, normally end of November, I'm done....kekeke....yes yes, my bf keeps telling everyone that I'm a pyscho. But sue me for not wanting to do last minute "grab anything" kind of Christmas shopping :) So, yesterday went and caught a movie... "Beowulf"... not exactly my kinda show la... only watched cos of the hoo-haa that can see Angelina Jolie naked....kakaka.... ok ok, no... i didn't even choose the show, Shaun did. Best part of the night was dinner at Sakae Sushi...kekeke. And The Curve is decorated so beautifully, so many people were taking pictures, made me want to take picture too, but no camera :( Anyhoo, we went shopping la for Christmas after the show :) But nearly ended up fighting =p To cut a long story short, we didn't agree on what present to buy for someone. So now comes my question..... Do we buy presents for the sake of buying anything, or do we buy presents by OUR own taste, OR do we buy what the "receiver" would want? I don't know about other people, but i really dun like getting ANOTHER candle for Christmas (hehe, don't take offense if u gave me a candle ok? I still love you for giving me anything ;) ) But I feel so bad for ....well, to be getting a present that ends up being something I would not actually have any use for, and yet I have to smile and say its great... like yes, i needed ANOTHER diary/planner which i will never use cos I have like 10 planners... not like there's gonna be 10 2008s =p I know I know, Christmas is about giving, not receiving. Its about God and his ultimate gift to us. I'm just saying, if you're gonna spend money on gifts, and you have NOOOOOOO idea wat the person would want or need or yearn for (most of the time, u can't afford the yearning ones anyway)... get them something useful, like a pair of socks, at least they can wear it ;) or Cookies - can eat! :) But bottomline, its about the receiver, not you or me ;)

To bend or not to bend?

I came across this quote and I found it so funny: "If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers Is that true?? Well, for someone as stubborn as I am I would say its true... I would like to think that God made me this way for a reason. To stand up for myself, for my beliefs, my my family and friends, for injustice, for truth... So yeah, I would "like" to think that I'm this way for a reason and you shouldn't bend over just for everything or anything. However, others can and might say that, u should bend over for others, God wants you to be humble and submit to authority,...etc...etc.... So which way goes? My opinion is strongly for the first... but I guess that the latter applies in some situations too... Its really something that needs a whole lot more thought and practice (depending on which side u stand). Not bending over works for me in some situations... but I'm not too stubborn to know that sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and say "pleaseeeeee" even to the most irritating and stupid people (will blog more on this). AND shaun will definitely attest to the fact that he gets his way alot by using his "PR" skills while i just bulldoze my way through... hehehe

Light & Easy

Today I will be posting something light & easy. And at the same time importing all my old blog postings. Its a cold and rainy morning...the best weather to stay in bed :) Unfortunately, have to go work :( So instead of working I shall blog and pick fights on Facebook ... hehe... The year is coming to an end... it seemed to have sailed past on fast forward and my birthday is looming. Sigh. I will be getting older... i'm not too sure about being any wiser . But I certainly feel old. At work I see all these young little lambs coming in from Uni, expecting the world to treat them well becos, heck for no good reason but because they exist la....kakaka... are they in for a rude awakening =p Anyhoo, back to me. Was looking at my new year's resolution from beginning of this year and I'm wondering whether in one month's time I can loose the 7kgs that I "resoluted" to lose....kekeke... I don't know why I even bothered to make the resolution since I love to eat so much =) I guess I could go to the gym more often... but its just so ....haiiiiiii.... boring =p Was suppose to go to the gym today... but yet again I have made excuses to no need to go :) This post started in the morning... and now its actually end of the day. My goodness how time flies. Its time to go home liow. Time to go home and eat...muakakakaka....

What's the hardest decision you've ever made?

Seriously what has been the hardest decision you've ever made? Would it be which Uni you went to? What job to do? Which girl or guy to marry? Which car to buy? Where's the best area to buy a house? Well, for me, my hardest decision has been to be a Christian. Yes, I can hear all the *gasping* and the sharp intake of breath, thinking this girl is being "blasphemous!!"... how can she say dat??!! Well, I'm saying it. Choosing to be a Christian is a decision that has been one of the hardest decisions that I've had to live up to. And I refuse to dress it up in pretty little pictures. Heck anyone that knows me well enough knows that I'm one of the most practical and cynical person. I could have argued with anyone until the sun came up on all things Christian. And yet, I'm a Christian. And alot of ppl still wonder why...haha. Its really not easy. Its really not all flowers, beautiful things and happy happy thoughts (that's probably why nobody thought I'll become a Christian... I'm not eaxctly ms. giggly & sweet =p ) And I am really sick of ppl who want to paint it as that. That's why I'm saying it. Choosing to be a Christian is just hard. Your life problems don't disappear overnight. You're still the same person in the same skin (and trust me, my skin sucks =p) What is hard about being a Christian? Loving people... all people... regardlessly and unconditionally (And please don't get me wrong, loving people doesn't mean smiling endlessly at everyone and "act" like you're suddenly their best friend). Turn the other cheek when you're wronged. Another one would be pleasing God. Being a witness of his love... so many =p So the natural question would be, then why are you a Christian?? Why choose something that is so hard? I know everyone has their own reason. But my reason was just that no one else on this planet will ever love me fully. Especially if they knew me for all my weakness, all my bad habits and temper, etc..etc... Not my parents, not my bf, not my grandparents (tho they come close..) ... Seriously no one. And at my lowest and at the point where I felt the loneliest and most "un-loved", i knew God loved me. That God is there, whether you acknowledge him or not, or believe in Him or not. He is just there. And that is the one thing about Christianity... its Love. Jesus died for us out of love. Love is at the base, the core...Its a relationship. And with all relationships, its hard. Its voluntary. It can't be forced. And God really really doesn't force us. Which makes it soooooooooooo easy to just not love him. To just act like He's not there. Do as we please. Kinda like when you're a teenager and you know your parents love you and would be damn disappointed that you skipped school, but yet you do it bcos you can. And even if you do get caught, they'll still love you. So heck, let's just have fun. So then of course there's always questions... and doubts and worries and wondering. Basically I believe in something/someone that I can't see (not like your parents which can cane you or smack you silly =p) That to everyone else, i can't hear, can't have a conversation with, can't touch... so that brings up the, how do u you know He really is there??...and does the God that I believe in really actually exist?? I can't answer it in a way that enables someone who's never experience it to be able to "experience" it with just my words. I'm sure many can give you the nicest, rosiest pictures of a relationship with God. Well, I can't. Really I don't hear an audible voice. No tangible thing to hold on to or a statue to bow or stare at... But sometimes at the most quiet times... staring just at a baby... you would know that God's hands were there. (heck, that baby didn't burst out of a rock la =p) I guess it would be easy if I just choose to not think about it. Blind faith. But God never asked for blind faith. He did ask for "Child like" faith, but not blind faith. He never said, don't ever ever ever question me. Just obey every rule!! No, He's not like that. He just lets you be. And its like... He's given you the free will to choose what you want to do. Down to even if you want to believe he exist or not. Sigh. And free reign over your own choices is one of the hardest things..... :( But because I believe He does exist. And He does give me comfort and He is always there regardless, its a choice that I have to keep to. Everyday I have to choose to be a "christian". As best as I can. And I worry everyday that one day I might choose the easy way out. To just ignore His existence. To be just like everyone else and lead my life as I please. But somehow inside me I know that would just make me feel even more empty and lost. So hard as it may be, I'd rather have a life with God's presence than to go about as I please feeling empty and lost.

No to FENG SHUI!!

These are my cactus. I have them on my window sill in my office. They are lovely plants to have. Resilient & tough as nails. I love my cactus cause it doesn't need much care to blossom. Now today a few things went wrong, and my colleagues tell me to get rid of my lovely cactus because its BAD feng shui. They've been telling me since day one to get rid of them for they will bring me bad luck. Its simply preposterous to blame it on the cactus. That the wind and the water and the watever is not in balance therefore things go wrong. Come on. Everything that went wrong was from human error. Not like the cactus called the printer and told them to print the thing wrong. Nor did they call the event organiser and told them not to send the forms to us. To blame everything that goes right or wrong based on the wind and water and blah blah blah (watever fengshui mumbo jumbo applies) its just man's way of saying "hey, it wasn't me, it was the cactus." Let me make my stand clear. I believe God made man. God made plants. God made the seas, the rivers, the mountains... basically everything. And no plant or fish or frog or turtle placed in whatsoever position or watsoever "great" timing changes God's plans for me. God makes the decisions, for He is my creator. To tell God that "I don't want to trust you for my future, I want to trust that I can use water, plants, animals to deal with my future..." is basically saying "God I don't need You BUT I'll rely on things You created..." I don't know about you, I think that sounds pretty stupid dun it?

Thanking God!

I dreaded to come to work today... only thinking about problems at work and how to solve it etc. Like normal la right...we only think about how life is difficult for us.... until i got an email from a friend... about some of the poorest people in china and how they live... and I was absolutely slapped back into place, that I've really got it good. I wish I could put up the powerpt file here, but looks like I can't attach any files. Bottomline, while I'm sitting here with aircon, clean clothes, proper shoes, breakfast to eat... there's millions out there that live in rooms filled with rubbish (which is how they earn a living, they sort thru and sell rubbish)...no money for medicine, for education, just getting by day by day from other's discarded rubbish..... and I'm so ashamed cause here I am thinking I don't earn enough, my house needs alot of stuff..etc..etc... Man I am small :( We complain all the time, service is bad, food is not nice, this sucks, that sucks, govt sucks, work sucks, too little time, not enough money, the list goes on and on... But actually how many of us take the time each day to thank God for how really good our lives are? And come on as long as you're reading this, your life is good. So I dunno about you, but I certainly think I have to start thanking God each and everyday.

SUCCESS!!

Yes!! I managed to export my old blog postings!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!! However its a lot of work. It has to be done one by one...sigh.... oh well, at least it can be done :)

Why a new blog...

Sigh... i have not blogged for a long time now. The last time i wrote anything was in April and on my Friendster blog. More than 6 mths ago. However I don't really use Friendster now, therefore I thought, heck I'll start writing again but on Blogspot. I vainly tried to "export" all my old postings from Friendster... but i failed miserably. I might get to it one find day. But not right now. Too lazy =p Now why have i not been blogging? Various reasons... the ever popular "too busy" is high on the list. Secondly, it came to a point where i was too tired of watching what i write. In essense a blog is to express oneself. But if everytime i wrote i think "oh no, this that person would be reading it and they might not like it, i might get reprimanded etc etc" (and I have gotten that), then blogging becomes a very stressful activity. However, as I have just recently been told by Shaun (my bf), I should write regardless of what others say. Gave it some thought and so here I am. Rambling online to nobody in particular ;) I don't know who will read this, and I don't really care. Cause its just me and my confused thoughts. And it feels good to be able to express all my stupid and confused thoughts. Alrighty, back to work now, more later :)

The Greatest Advice - Rick Warren

THE GREATEST ADVICE - Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life Don't date because you are desperate. Don't marry because you are miserable. Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior. Don't philander because you think you are irresistible. Don't associate with people you can ' t trust. Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don ' t pretend. Don't dictate because you are smarter. Don't demand because you are stronger. Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder. Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate! Don't regress. Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back. Don't put your life on hold for possibly Ms. / Mr. Right. Don't throw your life away on absolutely Ms. /Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking. Learn a new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career. Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life ' s more hasty decisions. To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless. To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy. To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty. Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you are not ready. Don't keep others waiting needlessly. Go on that trip. Don't postpone it. Say those words. Don't let the moment pass. Do what you have to, even at society's scorn. Write poetry. Love Deeply. Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself. Don ' t wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU. It isn ' t true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging. Don ' t be afraid. Don ' t lose your capacity to love. Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don ' t lose faith in God. Don ' t grow old. Just grow YOU! When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you ' ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. God is good all the time!

Christians

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting, "I'm clean living." I'm whispering, "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Life.....

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Carl Jung

Excerpts from....

Been reading "Reaching for The Invisible God" ..for the i think 3rd time. Find myself still pretty much caught in Philip Yancey's narrative and thought I'll share some excerpts. Its a great book. Recommend it for any Christian that has ever had any thoughts/doubts as to your faith & your relationship with God. Its definitely not a "feel good" , all rainbows in the sky type of book. It deals with real thoughts, real emotions: of pain, of lost, of loneliness, of uncertainty or doubts, of failure, of being the odd one out; and real "dark moments" in your life. And it assures you that you are not alone in your moments/seasons of doubt and waivering faith in a God that we cannot physically see or touch. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Excerpts from the book that I truly enjoy: " Merton adds: We receive enlightenment only in proportion as we give ourselves more and more completely to God by humble submission and love. We do not first see, then act: we act, then see....And that is why the man who waits to see clearly, before he will believe, never starts on the journey. " ...pg90

" The physicist John Polkinghorne, who resigned his post at Cambridge to seek ordination as an Anglican priest, points out a major difference between knowing science and knowing theology. Science progressively accumulates knowledge: first Ptolemy, then Galileo, Copernicus, Newton and Einstein. Each of these scientists built on the foundation of those who preceeded him, so that ordinary scientist today has a more accurate conception of the physical world than was ever possible for Sir Isaac Newton. Knowledge of God proceeds in an entirely different manner. Every encounter is unique and individual, just like any meeting between two persons, so that a fifth century mystic or an illiterate immigrant may have a deeper knowledge of God than a twentieth-century theologian. " ...pg27

" I mention these failures not to dampen anyone's faith but to add a dose of realism to spiritual propaganda that promises more than it can deliver. In an odd way the very failures of the church prove its doctrine. Grace, like water, flows to the lowest part. We in the church have humility and contrition to offer the world, not a formula for success. Almost alone in our success-oriented society, we admit that we have failed, are failing and always will fail. The church in A.D. 3000 will be as rife with problems as the church in A.D. 2000 or 1000. That is why we turn to God so desperately. " ...pg 20

" Why is God shy? Why does God hide? Why so gentle? God recognizes that WE are the ones on the journey, not himself. The journey does not transpire like a treasure hunt, such that if we follow the instructions and look hard enough we will find the treasure. No, the journey itself is the goal. The very quest for God, our determined pursuit, changes us in the ways that matter most. The silence and darkness we encounter, the temptations, and even the sufferings can all contribute to God's stated goal of shaping us into persons more like he intended - more like his Son." ...pg120

" There is, however, a sure way to promote God's absence. C.S. Lewis sets it out clearly: Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully. But you'd be safer to stick to the papers. You'll find the advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or a snobbish appeal. " ...pg 122

Following up on New Year's Resolution

Its now March, close to 3 months into 2007...that's a quarter of a year. And just thought that I'll "evaluate" my new year's resolutions and whether I'm actually achieving any of it :p (macam big company results like that...haha)

So here goes :-

1. Read the whole Bible (trying) 2. Lose weight (7 kgs to be exact) (lost 2 kgs...woohooooooo!! 5 more to go) 3. Complain less (hmmm....i think I'm not.... I think... =p ) 4. Be less critical (trying... dunno whether I'm succeeding) 5. Tone down on my sarcasm (hmmmm....well, dun have to do it all at once, right??) 6. Instigate CHANGE & not fear it (definitely improving ;) ... more needs to be done) 7. Read more (yes!) 8. Build a strong Marketing team (still doing...will know at the end of the year, for now it looks good) 9. Work less, play more... (yes, i think i'm no longer as hardup for working hard...keke) 10. Take up dance classes (ahem...someone promised to start with me April onwards) 11. Finish my art and craft projects (doing cross stitch :) got others that have to re-start on) 12. Finish the jigsaw (Ships at War) (definitely need to korek this thing out from my store room...hehe... means that's a no la)

Not bad.... i think I'm on the way... if by end of 2007 I can do 6 of the 12, I think I'll be happy :) Especially no. 1 & 2.... hehe

Love is...

They say it's a river that circles the Earth A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe It conquers all, it changes everything They say it's a blessing, they say it's a gift They say it's a miracle and I believe that it is It conquers all, but it's a mystery Love breaks your heart Love takes no less than everything Love makes it hard And it fades away so easily In this world we created, in this place that we live In the blink of an eye, babe, the darkness slips in Love lights the world unites the lovers for eternity... Love breaks the chains Love aches for every one of us Love takes the tears and the pain And turns it into the beauty that remains Look at this place, it was paradise But now it's dying I'll pray for love I'll take my chances, that it's not too late Love breaks your heart Love takes no less than everything Love makes it hard And it fades away so easily Oh Oh Oh, Love breaks the chain Love aches for every one of us Love take the tears and the pain And it turns it into the beauty that remains BrianMcKnight&VanessaWilliams

Perfect man?

So many people are getting married left right centre, Made me wonder whether has everyone found their MR Right or their perfect man??? And that's why they are getting married? Or is it because age is catching up, women end up settling? Hey, I mean no one wants to be the "Spinster" lady, right? How many are getting married because they truly will do anything and everything, will go thru thick and thin, in sickness and in health, till death do u part??

This CNY, as with the last few ones, kept getting asked or told to get married =p like its the one thing in life that MUST be done. Well, too bad cos i'm not gonna settle just for the sake of settling. Hey, marriage is for a lifetime. No play play, no rehearsals, no dun like can press RESET button!! So heck I'm taking my time to know myself first before knowing what or who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I've known too many couples who just get married and then end up hating each other. Separated. Divorced.

I'm sure every couple who gets married are like totally in love and would think wonderful things about each other, and gushing & giggling down the aisle.... but somehow i really dun want that. I don't want to be in a relationship that is just sugar and fluff. And you're just happy happy all the time. Never fight. Everything is rosy. I know this might sound bitter or sad, but i want someone that i can fight with, someone that will get angry with me, someone that will have a yelling match with me. Spending a lifetime together is a long long time, how long can rosy, fluffy ad sugary last??

My Perfect Man has got to be as flawed as I am. As sarcastic as I am. As stubborn as I am (if not how to make it last..hehe). Don't want no "yes" man. Need someone that respects my thoughts and my opinions, but doesn't compromise his own. Need a man not scared of showing his soft side and yet protect me with his strength and bravery. But most importantly i need someone who will fear God.

This "Perfect Man" exist? I'm sure he does. Actually I know he does ;)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Kevin EMAIL: kevinboo78@yahoo.com IP: 219.74.41.38 URL: http://www.friendster.com/1614859 DATE: 03/01/2007 07:40:08 AM i THINK you just kinda describe my good buddy? which would fit REALLY well to that descriptions! hhmmm.... come to think of it, you ARE seeing him! muahahaha....... hows life miss chan? ada sihat? ada baik? gue punya brother threating you right?u threating gue punya brother right? =) -----

Past Love....

I attended my ex-bf's wedding the other day...and so many people were amazed, shocked that i would or can do such a thing. What's the big deal? Hmmmmm.... i think other ppl were more uncomfortable with the idea than me actually going there and sitting thru the whole thing ... haha

I wondered - why the discomfort? I believe that loving someone doesn't stop just because the "romantic" relationship has ended. You can love someone as a friend, as someone who has shared your life in the past... I really wish my ex-bf all the best in his life and that his marriage would be all that he wishes for.

But really, does love just end because your relationship has ended? I would hope that my heart is big enough to continue loving someone even though we're no longer together. I think the love just changes to another type of love. A love for someone that knows you and has shared a season of your life together with you. Well that's what I hope.

Heard a lovely song of love lost, past love... somehow the lyrics really touched me...especially the first two lines... makes me remember ;) .... the song is :

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow & Sting My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away But every now and then you come to mind Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game But when your name was called, you found a place to hide When you knew that I was always on your side Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent But my demons and my angels reappeared Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be Too afraid to hear the words I'd always feared Leavin' you with only questions all these years Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally This isn't how it's really meant to be No, it isn't how it's really meant to be Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear, How to pull it close and make it stay Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away And I'm left to carry on and wonder why Even through it all, I'm always on your side Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally Is this how its really meant to be? no, this isn't how its really meant to be Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear How to pull it close and make it stay Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away, Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why Was it you that kept me wandering through this life When you know that I was always on your side?

Time & Tide Waits for No Man nor Woman

OMG time is passing so fast!! Yday it was New Year's and today is Feb 7!! Time is like zipping by like a crazed drugged up road runner!! Is it me or as I get older time passes by faster?? Used to be in school, it seemed like the year was taking forever to pass... u just couldn't wait for when u were 12, when ur 16, 18, 21.... then suddenly, wham bam, you're 28!! Like wooooaaaahhhhhh, what happenedd??!! Now everyone is getting married, having kids...moving away, starting their own business, and its like everyone is racing ahead. Something to race after, a dream, And little old me here just wants some free and relaxing time to Slooooooooooooowly enjoy life. What's the whole rush people???!! I know la, life is short... but no one told me life accelerates after 26! There's just too much to do, too little time. Everyone wants ur time, everything is deadlines and meetings are endless & time consuming ..... Sigh. I think i'm just gonna go home, lock the doors, off the phone, turn on some jazz music, pour a glass of wine or orange juice, get a good book and snuggle in bed and slooooooooooooowly enjoy life. The world is moving too fast for me...and I dun want to turn 30 so soon =p

Are you in a rat race?

As a young working adult in a corporate world, i have had countless times when i wonder what's it all for? Why do we run the race? I feel that its called the "RAT" race because many who run it & run it successfully, act very much like rats. Big fat Filthy, disgusting, conniving RATS!

So question is, how do you do well without being a rat? Is it so hard to be successful in the corporate world by being nice, truthful, hardworking and helpful?

Or has being a rat been so ingrained into some people that things just can't change? Its damn sad really because there are so many things more to life than a job, a great salary, a great job title, a big car, ridiculously expensive watches....

I know some people who have lost their souls running in this rat race. To the point that stabbing a colleague in the back, lying, gossiping, murmuring, creating malicious stories are so ingrained in them that its as natural as breathing. N for these people they won't be able to see that breathing is wrong, right or not?

I'm a Christian struggling to reconcile the work place and my beliefs. I mean, its really not easy to "Love Thy Enemy"...or even love everyone for that matter. I try, I really do...but rats are not exactly the most lovable things around =p

I have feelings like everyone else, being a Christian doesn't mean suddenly superhuman, shoot also won't die. BUT looks like alot of rats want Christians (who are trying very hard not to scream, slap or punch rats) to fall....its like they take glee in saying "see, christian woh, but also like everyone else wat".

Its true we are like everyone else; we have feelings, we get hurt and angry too. But don't for one minute think that we are weak and easy targets! Working in a RAT infested world and not being a rat is one of the hardest things. Choosing to do the right thing isn't appreciated...even though its damn hard to do the right thing. The rat race has made it so easy to do all the wrong things!

Everytime things get hard, or hopeless, or people get mean and all I want to do is punch them in the face, I CHOOSE TO TRUST IN GOD, PRAY FOR STRENGTH, SUBMIT my anger and my frusfration and try (really really hard) to LOVE rats. So don't tell me all Christian's are all so happy happy, so fake, so cheerful all the time...like no problems in the world. That's not true. TRY loving rats, then come tell me Christian's are a weak lot.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: James EMAIL: jamestanyl76@yahoo.com IP: 202.188.227.82 URL: http://www.friendster.com/9658518 DATE: 01/14/2007 07:55:33 PM well said sis..that is why we need GRACE..not easy to live our way which ends up we being more frustrated..well, u are not alone in this race..lets encourage and challenge each other : ) -----

Birthday Blues

Today is my birthday and I'm officially over the hill. I am now described as LATE-twenties. Gone are the days I can pretend that I'm still in my MID-twenties.

What have I learnt from these 28 years? Here are some:

• We are who we choose to be
• Decisions we make come with repercussions
• Everyone makes mistakes. Some big major ones. Some very hurtful ones too
• Forgiving is easy, forgetting is hard, trusting again is almost impossible
• Good friends are those who respect your choices, and never laughs AT you when the choices are wrong
• Those who laugh with you doesn't necessarily cry with you
• The world is never black and white
• Gossips are easy to tell and spread, they are vicious and mean
• Truth is hardly even seen, tho everyone ask for it. However most can't deal with it
• A hug or a phone call is always better than a SMS
• TV waste alot of time which can be spent talking/being with ppl and not just sending SMSes
• Money can't buy happiness. I have not met a single rich brat which is truly happy with all the things that money can buy them
• Talk is easy and cheap
• A listening ear is very hard to find
• Accepting that other ppl have their own views and standards is very hard. Most of us want to change people
• Humour is really important in life
• When I'm with real friends, I can laugh and cry at the same time

Miss you :(

New Year's Resolution

Its the 3rd day of the NEW year. I thought I'd write down my resolutions to make sure that I don't forget them or break them... Sort of like putting it on record or making it black and white. Binding ;)

So here goes...my Resolutions for 2007: 1. Read the whole Bible 2. Lose weight (7 kgs to be exact) 3. Complain less 4. Be less critical 5. Tone down on my sarcasm 6. Instigate CHANGE & not fear it 7. Read more 8. Build a strong Marketing team 9. Work less, play more... 10. Take up dance classes 11. Finish my art and craft projects 12. Finish the jigsaw (Ships at War)