Musings of a Confused Muse

Christmas!

2009-12-23T14:42:00.001+08:00

Just a day more to Christmas! Halleluyah!! :)

Hubby will be in KL for the first time in 30 years...hahaha... it shall be a blast!

Blogging on my blackberry

2009-12-02T22:59:00.002+08:00

Ok, I think I haven't blogged a full serious entry for like a whole year. And the year has been so full that I just haven't had the time.

Summary of the year would be... Got a dog (jack russell puppy), got retrenched... Planned wedding...searched for job... Had Wedding... Went for honeymoon...found a job... Started new job (all the way in KL)... Parents moved from ttdi to new place next door to my eldest sis... Dad had surgery for his prostate cancer. Hubby got admitted to hospital for his back... So a lot of things have happened in this one
year. Things that I should have blogged about but somehow life got to be too much and blogging was put into the back burner. However it was never forgotten and it has been nagging at me for some
time to start blogging again. Though typing on the bb might not be the most condusive ways to do it... but hey at least I'm getting to it :)

Oh Xmas will be here soon. I so want to put up my Xmas tree... But its just not the same without my two boys here to do it with me like last year :( sigh... and I so wanted a new tree for this year but it looks
like there won't be any tree at all. Oh well.... At least my Xmas shopping is all done ;)
--

Sent from my mobile device
*********************************************
~meifung~
"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she
wants, rather than to create it herself."

Feel so stuck

2009-08-26T13:53:00.001+08:00

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined"
- Henry James

This quote makes me feel so sad, like what happened?? All the imaginations of youth, are they gone once you hit 30?? shieeeeeeetttttt

Resuscitating my blog

2009-08-17T13:04:00.003+08:00

Oh man, thought i would write again and sorta do up my blog. But after the new template was put in, all my old post went psycho :p should i spend more time to go into each old post and redo the alignment and etc?? it would take too much time!! oh well, i guess aside from me, no ones gonna be looking at it... i think .. hehe.

Testing from Mobile Phone

2009-08-17T12:46:00.000+08:00

Testing to see whether my mobile can b used to blog

Testing Testing

2009-08-17T12:20:00.002+08:00

testing email blogging. ********************************************* ~meifung~

Sigh... there goes another month

2008-08-08T11:56:00.005+08:00

Dang! There goes another month... arrrrrggggghhhhh... my last post was 10 of July... shieeettttt.... one month liow. Aiyoh, its like i'm bring robbed of time!! This whole week has been sooooo packed with getting ready for Saturday's event. Every night go home feeling so tired and battered =( Dis can't be worth it la. Work until times flies away yet... no personal satisfaction... sigh The only thing that I did this month that was worth remembering was... hmmm... bought my wedding ring :) ... and this bible verse:

Philippians 4: 4-9

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Aside from that I don't think that this month has anything much worth mentioning... which is sucky =p I hope the coming month would be better.

why I have not written for so long...

2008-07-10T00:44:00.008+08:00

Its been quite some time since i last wrote an original entry. Life has been hectic =p

As most would know by now, I just got engaged on 15th of June :)

So since then we've been trying to settle on a load of stuff... you can't imagine the amount of things that has to be bought, booked, reserved, etc etc... and we are already keeping it really really simple.

The actual wedding day will be in 2009. We won't be doing any pre-wedding photos... so won't have any photos to put up. The only one I have is this (its my engagement ring) I really love the setting :) No claws... simple & classic... Its not huge or gaudy... its perfectly ME ;) Right now we're trying to keep the wedding simple and meaningful. Not a big big bash with half the ppl which we don't even know. Ok, so now that I've gushed over my ring and upcoming wedding, let me get back to why I have not been writing. On top of planning for the wedding, of course the usual busy-ness of life, i.e. work and etc has really taken alot of my time. I haven't even been reading anyone's blog, much less writing mine. However yday a close friend of mine told me about how her colleague suddenly passing away at the very young age of 33. That's like only 4 years older than me. Its scary, freaky and all that. But ultimately it slaps you in the face and kinda wakes you up on what's important in life. You start thinking... tomorrow it could be me. How many of us are able to say with conviction that I've done all that I've dreamed and hope to do and if tomorrow I die I will have no huge regret. I definitely for one can't. There seems to be so many things in life that I have not done or experienced. I remember writing a list of things (in my blog in 06) that I wanted to do before I die and unfortunately most of them I have not started on even though its been abt 2 years now. How much of our lives are taken by the BUSY-ness of the world? And the world is really good with keeping us busy, there are always new movies, new songs, new games, new books, new applications, new gadgets, new tv series, new shopping centres, new restaurants, new brands of shoes, bags, clothes.... so much to do, so little time. And essentially we really have so little time. And how are we spending it? The only way we can experience all the "new" experiences is if we have enough money to buy / spend on them... (And I know it, i mean I'm getting married and flowers alone are freaking expensive!) therefore we work more and more, wanting more and more in terms of money and having less and less time... its a vicious cycle. We want new things, new experiences, but we give up so much of our time trying to earn the ability to experience these new things, yet we end up having no time to enjoy them. Sigh... No wonder there's now even a quarter life crisis, we spend all our time running around in a circle. Of course we don't know what we're doing and wat's the meaning of life! How can there be meaning if all we're doing is running around in circles like a rabid dog. So, what now? For me I've always wanted to draw, paint, write, experience the beauty out there...contemplate... take pictures... be free... bake, cook... laze under the sun... play with puppies :) walk in the rain... And so, here I am back to writing again. Its the one and only thing that I can do right now that won't take too much effort or time away from all the things that I have to do. Damn, I have a teleconference in 15mins... gotta go. The world is once again extending its creepy fingers into my life and trying to choke it. Sigh.

When the lovey dovey feelings fade...

2008-07-08T15:02:00.001+08:00

This story tells us something about..... LOVE & LIFE ... a little bit long but be patient ... My husband is an engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and..I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him? And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality,and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.... If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind." Let's say; I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff,and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?" He said: "I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response. I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes.... My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but.... please allow me to explain the reasons further....." This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. "When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy. You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... " My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk..." I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.... Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does,and I have decided to leave the flower alone... That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away,and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ... Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE The happiest people in the world... are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. LOVE is not just between two lovers, husband and wife--it also encompass; mother, father and siblings, sisters and brothers, friends, neighbours and colleagues

Please pass on to those whom you love…

A blast from the past before the current petrol hike....

2008-06-17T16:41:00.002+08:00

found this article from long long ago... so sad la live in Msia... sigh Can A Family Man With Salary RM3,000 Survive In Malaysia? Let's do some simple calculations here. In Malaysia , the average family income is RM3,000 /month where father works, mother doesn't). I understand there are many families whose monthly income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take RM3,000 as the figure. Ok lah, right? Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son. Ngam-ngam .... Calculation starts... Electricity and water bill: RM100 (No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater ... ok?) Phone bill ( Telekom): RM100 Meals for a happy family: RM775 (3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons...?) Papa makan / teh-tarik during working hrs: RM155 (RM5/day, RM5 .. can eat what?) Car repayment: RM400 (A proton saga aeroback, 7 yrs repayment) Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300 (go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running) Insurance: RM650 (kids, wife and myself) House repayment: RM750 (low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!) Tuition: RM80 (got that cheap meh? i don't think so) Older children pocket money @ school: RM20 (RM1/day, eat bread?) School fees: RM30 (enough ah?) School books and etc: RM100 (always got extra to pay in school) Younger children milk powder: RM50 (cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive) Miscellaneous: RM100 (shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper) Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so... No Astro, no movie @ cinema, no DVD, no CD, no online, cannot KFC, cannot McDonald, cannot go Park walk during weekend (petrol expensive), no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and etc... Let's use a calculator to total up... WALAO EH! Shit! RM3,610 already... EPF belum potong, income tax lagi........oledi RM3,610 .... How to survive lah tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian ??? Our Deputy Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle? How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study? Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of rakyat Malaysia which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!! What is this? Inilah Malaysia Boleh... Sorry ... it should be Malaysians Boleh , because we're still alive and kicking!! Our politicians must be mad!!!! Please forward and comment boleh or tak boleh. No wonder so many Ah Loong around lah... ...

when will there be actual change??

2008-06-14T23:22:00.003+08:00

Agence France-Presse - 6/12/2008 9:05 AM GMT

Malaysia's corruption at critical level: watchdog

Corruption in Malaysia has reached a critical level as the country falls in international rankings, a graft watchdog announced Thursday, warning the government to act or lose its competitiveness.

The UN's Asia-Pacific Human Development Report highlighted an International Country Risk Guide finding which saw Malaysia decline from a score of 4.00 in 1996 to 2.38 in 2006, with a lower score representing greater corruption.

"It is worrying because it is a business index which reflects on our domestic investment, foreign direct investment and confidence in the economy," said Ramon Navaratnam, country head of graft watchdog Transparency International.

"Corruption is at a critical level here," he said.

He said corruption in Malaysia was deeply entrenched in the negotiation of contracts. Bribes were paid to government officials to speed up trade licences, for police protection and for loan transactions.

"Our economic structure, the way we do business here, needs to be reviewed, renewed and redesigned," Navaratnam said, warning that Malaysia could lose its competitive edge if it remained "complacent and inefficient."

"Malaysia can do much better if there is stronger political will to fight corruption. Given the rapid pace of globalisation and increasing economic competition among Asian countries, it's time to pull our socks up," he said.

Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi was elected on an anti-corruption platform in March 2004, but opposition leaders say progress has been slow.

Following his government's recent drubbing in national polls he announced several measures to tackle corruption and reform what many view as a compliant judiciary.

A royal commission recently authenticated a tape showing a top lawyer brokering judicial appointments with the help of politicians during the premiership of former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad.

Earlier this week, a senior judge said judges were indoctrinated and threatened with dismissal to pressure them into making pro-government decisions during the former premier's rule.

Stupid petrol hike!

2008-06-06T16:09:00.005+08:00

Man with Balls of Steel?

2008-05-06T15:04:00.003+08:00

As most who read the papers would know by now, today Raja Petra Kamarudin was called to court and put in detention for his blogging. Now for those of you who don't read his blog, well, let's put it this way, this guy writes with such honesty that most are surprised that he hasn't been taken in by ISA before this. Anyway, the powers that be is once again trying to put this guy in jail for sharing his thoughts on his blog. He has refused to pay the bail and has been put in detention. Some would say that it was a stupid move... but i think it's a brilliant move. The powers that be have literally shot themselves in their feet. How much outrage and publicity would this create? Not just locally, but internationally as well... how many people would surge to now go and read his blog? I certainly went and read it. And now I'm writing about it too. Multiply that exponentially with the 6 degrees of separation, heck millions would be reading his blog by today. I'm not as eloquent in my writing as RPK, neither do I have such balls of steel as he does, so do visit his site at http://www.malaysia-today.net/2008/ This is a man that isn't afraid to just say it and put it out there for everyone to read. Got to give it to him, he really is a man with balls of steel ;)

Who are you? Do you know?

2008-04-13T02:45:00.000+08:00

Have you ever seen, met or heard about someone you once knew and wondered who are they now? With these things called Facebook, High5, Friendster & etc etc... I'm suddenly confronted with pictures of people who I can't even remember if I knew them =p

Some profiles I see and wonder, what and who is this person now? Knew them once upon a time...but how about now? Aside from the obvious job title or whether the person is married or single, I wonder WHO aRE they...what have they been doing... how much has changed in their lives? I'm sure some have seen my profile and wondered the same "Whatever happened to Chan Mei Fung..wow, she's gotten fat...OMG she's going out with an Indian..." and I can only wonder what else people say =p

There's always the ones that have "new names" and only upon closer inspection does it dawn upon you its a person you once knew as some chinese name. Or there are some that have changed so much in outward appearance that you wonder if you've got the right person.... those that become swans...become very thin, or very fat, or very pretty or glamorous... and of course those that've moved far far away...

I'm mostly in awe or wonder of those that have gotten married and have a few kids in tow. Its a whole "cannot connect" in my system. Hahaha.... Once again, please i'm not saying getting married is bad, its a wonderful thing. I'm thinking more like, how????? How do you decide at 18, 20, 22 that you're ready to make a commitment for life, that you're ready to bring life into this world. Into a world that at 22 you might not understand that well yourself.

At 29 I'm still discovering myself, and my thoughts, my views and everything around me... the world, politics, people, culture, personalities, God, principles..etc... and of course what I want in my life. What legacy do I want to leave behind? I can't imagine committing myself with someone for the rest of my life and bringing new life into this world without first knowing or having my own actual standing or principle in life and etc. Only now am I actually discovering being totally "independent" of my family or parents. I used to think that I really was independent. I paid my own way for everything since 18 and I have a steady career. I made all my own decisions, no 'curfew', no answering to anyone abt things that i do and etc etc. BUT no matter what I was still living under my parents' roof. Somehow there was still an umbrella of 'family' that would take care of where we lived and if the TV at home breaks down, someone (i.e. my dad) would fix it (btw, my tv has broken down, so if by the off chance, pa, if u're reading this, could u fix it??). Or if i wanted to invite a group of friends over just to lepak, I had to tell my parents to be 'scarce'. Don't get me wrong I had my freedom, but there were boundaries which I subconsciously kept to because it was still my parent's home and there were so many things I really didn't need to think of.

Now, I'm finally out of that invisible boundary. And this makes me have all the freedom to decide on what I want to do, how I want to do it and etc. And its exhilarating. Any decision I make is my own. I don't have to pass it by anyone if I didn't want to. And having this platform, is an "eye-opener" because this is where you choose who you want to be, who you are, what defines you. Not what other people (i.e. your parents, your bf, your husband, your children) want, but what you want in YOUR life. You make the decisions, and you reap the repercussions, whether good or bad.

So now that I'm here, where I am... I'm beginning to be who I'm suppose to be... and to me, only now i can really make the decisions that 'make me' who I am. So back to, how does one make all those life defining choices when you're so young and bright eyed? Is it no wonder that so many marriages fail now? I'm sure there are those that succeed... but who are we kidding, look at the divorce rate now. However most of us lead the normal life of a 20++++ (notice how many ++ there were) wondering what is it all for blah blah blah... what's the meaning of life, what am I here for... and all end up doing the same old same old usual stuff like study, get a degree, get a job, get a car, get bf/gf, get married, move out, have kids blah blah blah ... its like auto-pilot ....its just only a matter of when we do it... some choose to do it young and way before being able to even establish in themselves 'who i am' . So why?? I believe some (and of course myself included ...sometimes) just go with the flow... not really thinking or putting any effort or thought into the why and what it all means... so, can we really know who we are if we just follow the flow?? I seriously doubt it... If you don't break the waves, how can you have your own directions and make your own waves?

So here I am now, at 2.30am, awake and wondering, "who am I'? - oh, but dun get me wrong, I'm not in those depressing moods of what am i doing here, what am i doing with my life, etc etc Actually, I'm in a good place right now. I believe up to now my life has been absolutely blessed by God. True that things of course don't always go my way - that's not a blessed life, that's just a spoilt life if everything went my way-. I think I'm really blessed because I have been given the chances, the ability, and the freedom to choose who I want to be; to make the choices that 'make me'. Some wonderful 'quotes' I came upon quite some time back sums it all up really well...

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -Abraham Lincoln

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all" - Oscar Wilde

I think that to just 'exist' and just 'go with the flow' would be just sad. I'm pretty sure that God didn't put us here just to 'exist'.

Point to ponder....

2008-04-09T14:46:00.004+08:00

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still? - J. Paul Getty

I'm happy :)

2008-04-05T15:37:00.005+08:00

I'm happy....

... because I have my best friend back

Nice, meaningful lyrics abt life...

2008-04-05T15:29:00.011+08:00

"The Heart Of The Matter" [originally performed by Don Henley] I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear But I knew that it would come An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone She said you found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And all the struggles we went through How I lost me and you lost you What are these voices outside love's open door Make us throw off our contentment And beg for something more? I've been learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore These times are so uncertain There's a yearning undefined And people filled with rage We all need a little tenderness How can love survive in such a graceless age And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness Are the very things we kill, I guess Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms And the world they put between us, You know it doesn't keep us warm I've been trying to live without you now But I miss you, baby The more I know, the less I understand And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter But my will gets weak And my heart is so shattered But I think it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore All the people in your life who've come and gone They let you down, you know they hurt your pride Got to put it all behind you; cause life goes on You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside I wanna be happily ever after And my heart is so shattered But I know it's about forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter Because the flesh gets weak And the ashes will scatter So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness Forgivenessssss...... Even if you don't love me anymoreeeeeeeee Even if you don't love me anymore

Corrupt morons?

2008-03-11T16:50:00.005+08:00

Today my colleague showed me an article from the chinese newspaper "Sin Chew" which totally shocked and appalled me. It showed officers in the Selangor secretariat's office shredding official documents. But since I can't read chinese I went online wanting to see whether this was reported in the official English newspapers, and I was disgusted that it was not covered in the The Star or NST. They covered the IGP saying that no such thing as destroying official documents were happening (bull!!) So being absolutely disgusted with these "corrupt morons" (as a friend so aptly calls them) here are some links of the article & pictures: http://subangjayan.blogspot.com/2008/03/selangor-state-official-destroying.html

http://rafza.blogspot.com/2008/03/abang-z-past-away-selangor-document.html

http://shashinki.com/blog/2008/03/11/selangor-state-officers-destroy-documentssulit/

If I had any doubt on my not voting for BN, this has totally cemented my voting for the opposition. How can we let these "corrupt morons" continue to do such things to us citizens?? Right now I'm waiting for what UMNO has to say about how their wonderful MB has been behaving. Or will they just keep quiet, do nothing, shut the media up and hope we forget by the next election?? The irony of all the hoo-haa abt needing to do a post-mortem on why BN lost so many seats. Are they stupid, blind or deaf??? Or rather maybe they wished all of us citizens were stupid, blind and deaf??

Elections; did you vote?

2008-03-10T16:47:00.004+08:00

For the first time in 29 years, I went to vote on Saturday. I was pleasantly surprised as there were no lines, no waiting (could this BE happening in Malaysia?? ;) hehe) and the whole experience was pretty cool. I suddenly felt so adult and responsible. Doing my duty as a responsible citizen! :) No surprise that I voted for the opposition. Not something or opinion that I've been hiding from everyone. But the point of this post is... it felt great to vote :) I felt that I made a difference (especially since all the results came out). Its really easy to "talk" politics, complain and gripe about all the s**t that happens in the govt. Abt how this MB is doing this, not doing that, makan duit, blah blah blah... but soooooooooooooooooo many ppl just do that... "talk". That's all they do. Bcos when I asked quite a number of young working adults, ALOT (and I mean ALOT) are not even registered to vote!! OK, I'm not the most patriotic person around, but the one time you can do something about making a change, you don't. Then why complain??!! Live with the s**t, cos you made the s**t happen by not voting. On saturday night, watching the results come in on ntv7, they shared that this election, there were only approx 1,500 new voters registered. I asked "so little???? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???" Where are all the people who loveeeeeeeeeee to talk politics?? However in 2006, there were 14 THOUSANDchinese people (yes in thousands) migrated or gave up their citizenship. It is so sad...Is that how we make a change? By leaving? Anyway, now that the elections are over and the results are out. Let's see if the change has made a difference, I seriously seriously hope and pray that it will make a difference. It is time for a change.

R.I.P. ....

2008-03-10T16:27:00.004+08:00

My 3 cactus have all died :( To those that were making such a ruckus about it being bad luck and all (pls refer to my old blog entry - No to Feng Shui!) , well goes to show my God is stronger!! HAH!

Get a life!!

2008-03-05T11:08:00.002+08:00

This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of an American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD. "I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank accounts but also your soul. People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good. Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre at my job if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger. Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live. I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived"

Its March already....

2008-03-05T11:03:00.003+08:00

I haven't written in some time... and wooosssshhhhh, its suddenly March. The year seems to be flying by so I thought I'll start writing again. Things have been hectic, but I just took a holiday and went to Perhentian to relax and do absolutely nothing but sun tan, eat and sleep... so I'm feeling good :) ... the not so good part is i'm back to work. Anyhoo... I'm hoping in the next couple of weeks and months I'll have more to blog. I'll keep this really short and end here cos I want to post another entry... something i read recently ;)

The BEST Chocolate Fondue!!

2008-01-09T15:57:00.000+08:00

The best chocolate fondue in town:

Credits: Fondue set courtesy of Sri Kanda Perumal (thanks for the gift!) Beautifully cut and arranged fruits courtesy of Tan May Leeng Biscuits & breadsticks courtesy of Nah Mei Lee Chocolate fondue prepared by ME! ;) Venue: My home :)

a NON-recommendation =p

2008-01-07T16:40:00.000+08:00

Went for dinner yesterday at Jarrod & Rawkins in One Utama (New Wing). And unfortunately I have nothing good to say about it.

Before I even go into how the food tasted and all... let me start with the service. The waiters were very blur and could not understand simple English, which is something you'll expect at a hawker centre or coffee shop but not at a place that serves at their prices (will go into that shortly). We were a group of 9 people and all our food came out with such long intervals between that we could not have our meal together. Even though some of us ordered the same thing, the first person got their meal, finished it before anyone else's meal came. The last person to get the meal was when everyone else had almost finished their meals. EVEN though the person that got the first one and the person that got the last one ordered the same thing!! Sausages & mash. How hard could that be to prepare???

Now on to the food. Their SIGNATURE dish is their sausages. It cost RM18++ and this is how it looks like:

Pathetic don't you think?? And on top of that each of our mash potatoes came cold. Yucks!!

Some of us ordered the steak (rm28++), fish & chips and pork chops (rm25++). They were dry and all were served as per the above picture, just replaced with whatever else ur having to replace the sausages. The taste was nothing to be shouted about, in actual fact I've tasted better steaks at some of those stalls which sell western food for like RM10 per set (and they even look better!!)

our feeling of the "purveyors of fine food & wine"

All in all, it was a totally unsatisfying meal. Will NEVER go back, even if someone wanted to pay for me!!

2008 is here....

2008-01-04T14:32:00.001+08:00

The year has not started well for me :( 2nd day already kena food poisoning... and my "new year" has been filled with these: I know la i wanted to lose weight, but this is like the worse way to do it. Sigh. All I've been eating is porridge and plain white bread. I can't even stomach anything more *sob sob* First day of work, MC liow.... great impression to my boss. Sigh... now i'm back at work and all i can think of is "don't puke, don't puke, control control" All i wanna do is go homeeeeeeeeee :(

Freedom of speech, ever heard of it??

2007-12-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

Its sad that at this day and age, there are still many people persecuted for speaking out loud, especially against injustice, immorral acts, wrongful conduct & etc...this of course is very evident in the recent rallies and the police stopping them with force and violence. Many are currently now using blogs and the internet to voice out their frusfrations and getting their voice out there to be heard. Now I have no such lofty aspirations with my blog, as I really don't think I have much "insights" to share especially about the political situation in Malaysia. However, I would like to talk about something much more closer to home. Previously, I had my blog on Friendster... and I blogged basically about anything happening in my life at the moment... now, I of course try to never name names nor step on anyone's toes with my blogging, however I did get some "advise" as to not to blog about certain aspects in my life or etc.... this "advise" was given as I'm a Christian, and therefore should be an example. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure they had all the good intentions to advise me on that. However, due to their advise I felt very pressured whenever I wrote... I kept thinking, who will read this... whenever i post something, I would worry whether i would then later get a call. All in all, after a while, I got fed up of writing since I kept looking behind my back to see whether I would get any repercussion from my posting. The thing was, my post were nothing but just my views. Why I'm writing about it now is because I actually have a friend that's going through the same thing now. She has resorted to password protecting her post; which i feel is very sad... writings which she used to share with friends and family are now something she feels compelled to hide because it might not agree with other people's views. And she would get phone calls and emails lecturing her on her views and how she should not voice them out. I know that even writing about it now, many would think I'm actually advocating that Christian's are a pyscho lot that would want to "mum" their believers. Which is definitely not true.... God does not stop anyone from speaking their minds. In actual fact, the Bible clearly shows that Jesus went around, talking to people, advising people and telling truth, more than anything else in the three years before he was crucified. Yes, he did miracles. He healed people. But most of all, He talked, he ministered, and he stood up and pointed out what was wrong. He spoke out against injustice and immorality. He did not keep mum, even though many tried to get him to shut up. So now back to now, my friend is sharing her life, her struggles, what she thinks is right or wrong... and yet she feels that her opinions are not just not taken into consideration, but rather she's told to not share her opinions. Now, I might or might not agree with what she has said, or might say in the future, but who are we to judge what she says?? Who are we to stop her from having free speech? You might read this and misunderstand that being a Christian we are not allowed to voice out our fears, frusfrations, anger and etc. That is NOT true. Its not God that says we can't. Its people who try to play God that stops others from having opinions other that their own. It happens everywhere... it just so happens that right now I'm talking about being a Christian and facing it. Everyone does it or goes through it, regardless of religion or race. But what I'm standing for right now is that, being a Christian, we should not be the ones that stop people from having an opinion. Nor should we judge people for thinking and acting differently than from the norm or the accepted way which we think should be the way. Everyone is different, everyone has a right to their own opinions and there are different ways to express one self. We should not judge or dismiss a person's opinions just because they are different from ours. Freedom of speech ;) God bless and good night.

New place to eat ....

2007-12-14T15:15:00.000+08:00

There was a new restaurant that opened in my office building (Jaya33 for those who are blur), its an Italian restaurant. And its called d'Italiane Kitchen.

So yesterday for lunch my collegues and I went to try it out ;) Bottom are the pictures taken by my colleague.

We had three different types of pastas. Price range was from RM18++ for a plate of pasta. I had the carbonara... it was quite thick with lots of beef bacon and mushrooms. I could only finish half the plate cause it was quite the creamy and filing. The other pasta that I ordered for my colleague (he let me mah) was a fried spaghetti with prawns... dun remember the name leh =p But it was very nice =)

Didn't try other dishes since it was lunch and already i was so full. Will definitely go again and try the other stuff. They look good in the menu :) Oh and the environment was ok la, very minimalistic. White walls, ceiling and chairs too. Very white white. Makes the place feel very clean ;) But not like romantic or anything la.... maybe its different at night but in the afternoon it was very bright.

All in all, pasta wise it was nice :) Environment, so so. Will go again ;)

U know Christmas is here when....

2007-12-13T11:43:00.000+08:00

U know Christmas is here when my living room floor is littered with gifts and wrappers and boxes and ribbons.... and me drowning under it =p Yes, I have started my Christmas shopping... i would say almost 90% complete. Trust me, I'm behind schedule, normally end of November, I'm done....kekeke....yes yes, my bf keeps telling everyone that I'm a pyscho. But sue me for not wanting to do last minute "grab anything" kind of Christmas shopping :) So, yesterday went and caught a movie... "Beowulf"... not exactly my kinda show la... only watched cos of the hoo-haa that can see Angelina Jolie naked....kakaka.... ok ok, no... i didn't even choose the show, Shaun did. Best part of the night was dinner at Sakae Sushi...kekeke. And The Curve is decorated so beautifully, so many people were taking pictures, made me want to take picture too, but no camera :( Anyhoo, we went shopping la for Christmas after the show :) But nearly ended up fighting =p To cut a long story short, we didn't agree on what present to buy for someone. So now comes my question..... Do we buy presents for the sake of buying anything, or do we buy presents by OUR own taste, OR do we buy what the "receiver" would want? I don't know about other people, but i really dun like getting ANOTHER candle for Christmas (hehe, don't take offense if u gave me a candle ok? I still love you for giving me anything ;) ) But I feel so bad for ....well, to be getting a present that ends up being something I would not actually have any use for, and yet I have to smile and say its great... like yes, i needed ANOTHER diary/planner which i will never use cos I have like 10 planners... not like there's gonna be 10 2008s =p I know I know, Christmas is about giving, not receiving. Its about God and his ultimate gift to us. I'm just saying, if you're gonna spend money on gifts, and you have NOOOOOOO idea wat the person would want or need or yearn for (most of the time, u can't afford the yearning ones anyway)... get them something useful, like a pair of socks, at least they can wear it ;) or Cookies - can eat! :) But bottomline, its about the receiver, not you or me ;)

To bend or not to bend?

2007-12-10T11:42:00.000+08:00

I came across this quote and I found it so funny: "If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers Is that true?? Well, for someone as stubborn as I am I would say its true... I would like to think that God made me this way for a reason. To stand up for myself, for my beliefs, my my family and friends, for injustice, for truth... So yeah, I would "like" to think that I'm this way for a reason and you shouldn't bend over just for everything or anything. However, others can and might say that, u should bend over for others, God wants you to be humble and submit to authority,...etc...etc.... So which way goes? My opinion is strongly for the first... but I guess that the latter applies in some situations too... Its really something that needs a whole lot more thought and practice (depending on which side u stand). Not bending over works for me in some situations... but I'm not too stubborn to know that sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and say "pleaseeeeee" even to the most irritating and stupid people (will blog more on this). AND shaun will definitely attest to the fact that he gets his way alot by using his "PR" skills while i just bulldoze my way through... hehehe

Light & Easy

2007-11-27T10:20:00.000+08:00

Today I will be posting something light & easy. And at the same time importing all my old blog postings. Its a cold and rainy morning...the best weather to stay in bed :) Unfortunately, have to go work :( So instead of working I shall blog and pick fights on Facebook ... hehe... The year is coming to an end... it seemed to have sailed past on fast forward and my birthday is looming. Sigh. I will be getting older... i'm not too sure about being any wiser . But I certainly feel old. At work I see all these young little lambs coming in from Uni, expecting the world to treat them well becos, heck for no good reason but because they exist la....kakaka... are they in for a rude awakening =p Anyhoo, back to me. Was looking at my new year's resolution from beginning of this year and I'm wondering whether in one month's time I can loose the 7kgs that I "resoluted" to lose....kekeke... I don't know why I even bothered to make the resolution since I love to eat so much =) I guess I could go to the gym more often... but its just so ....haiiiiiii.... boring =p Was suppose to go to the gym today... but yet again I have made excuses to no need to go :) This post started in the morning... and now its actually end of the day. My goodness how time flies. Its time to go home liow. Time to go home and eat...muakakakaka....

What's the hardest decision you've ever made?

2007-11-26T18:56:00.000+08:00

Seriously what has been the hardest decision you've ever made? Would it be which Uni you went to? What job to do? Which girl or guy to marry? Which car to buy? Where's the best area to buy a house? Well, for me, my hardest decision has been to be a Christian. Yes, I can hear all the *gasping* and the sharp intake of breath, thinking this girl is being "blasphemous!!"... how can she say dat??!! Well, I'm saying it. Choosing to be a Christian is a decision that has been one of the hardest decisions that I've had to live up to. And I refuse to dress it up in pretty little pictures. Heck anyone that knows me well enough knows that I'm one of the most practical and cynical person. I could have argued with anyone until the sun came up on all things Christian. And yet, I'm a Christian. And alot of ppl still wonder why...haha. Its really not easy. Its really not all flowers, beautiful things and happy happy thoughts (that's probably why nobody thought I'll become a Christian... I'm not eaxctly ms. giggly & sweet =p ) And I am really sick of ppl who want to paint it as that. That's why I'm saying it. Choosing to be a Christian is just hard. Your life problems don't disappear overnight. You're still the same person in the same skin (and trust me, my skin sucks =p) What is hard about being a Christian? Loving people... all people... regardlessly and unconditionally (And please don't get me wrong, loving people doesn't mean smiling endlessly at everyone and "act" like you're suddenly their best friend). Turn the other cheek when you're wronged. Another one would be pleasing God. Being a witness of his love... so many =p So the natural question would be, then why are you a Christian?? Why choose something that is so hard? I know everyone has their own reason. But my reason was just that no one else on this planet will ever love me fully. Especially if they knew me for all my weakness, all my bad habits and temper, etc..etc... Not my parents, not my bf, not my grandparents (tho they come close..) ... Seriously no one. And at my lowest and at the point where I felt the loneliest and most "un-loved", i knew God loved me. That God is there, whether you acknowledge him or not, or believe in Him or not. He is just there. And that is the one thing about Christianity... its Love. Jesus died for us out of love. Love is at the base, the core...Its a relationship. And with all relationships, its hard. Its voluntary. It can't be forced. And God really really doesn't force us. Which makes it soooooooooooo easy to just not love him. To just act like He's not there. Do as we please. Kinda like when you're a teenager and you know your parents love you and would be damn disappointed that you skipped school, but yet you do it bcos you can. And even if you do get caught, they'll still love you. So heck, let's just have fun. So then of course there's always questions... and doubts and worries and wondering. Basically I believe in something/someone that I can't see (not like your parents which can cane you or smack you silly =p) That to everyone else, i can't hear, can't have a conversation with, can't touch... so that brings up the, how do u you know He really is there??...and does the God that I believe in really actually exist?? I can't answer it in a way that enables someone who's never experience it to be able to "experience" it with just my words. I'm sure many can give you the nicest, rosiest pictures of a relationship with God. Well, I can't. Really I don't hear an audible voice. No tangible thing to hold on to or a statue to bow or stare at... But sometimes at the most quiet times... staring just at a baby... you would know that God's hands were there. (heck, that baby didn't burst out of a rock la =p) I guess it would be easy if I just choose to not think about it. Blind faith. But God never asked for blind faith. He did ask for "Child like" faith, but not blind faith. He never said, don't ever ever ever question me. Just obey every rule!! No, He's not like that. He just lets you be. And its like... He's given you the free will to choose what you want to do. Down to even if you want to believe he exist or not. Sigh. And free reign over your own choices is one of the hardest things..... :( But because I believe He does exist. And He does give me comfort and He is always there regardless, its a choice that I have to keep to. Everyday I have to choose to be a "christian". As best as I can. And I worry everyday that one day I might choose the easy way out. To just ignore His existence. To be just like everyone else and lead my life as I please. But somehow inside me I know that would just make me feel even more empty and lost. So hard as it may be, I'd rather have a life with God's presence than to go about as I please feeling empty and lost.

No to FENG SHUI!!

2007-11-14T14:10:00.000+08:00

These are my cactus. I have them on my window sill in my office. They are lovely plants to have. Resilient & tough as nails. I love my cactus cause it doesn't need much care to blossom. Now today a few things went wrong, and my colleagues tell me to get rid of my lovely cactus because its BAD feng shui. They've been telling me since day one to get rid of them for they will bring me bad luck. Its simply preposterous to blame it on the cactus. That the wind and the water and the watever is not in balance therefore things go wrong. Come on. Everything that went wrong was from human error. Not like the cactus called the printer and told them to print the thing wrong. Nor did they call the event organiser and told them not to send the forms to us. To blame everything that goes right or wrong based on the wind and water and blah blah blah (watever fengshui mumbo jumbo applies) its just man's way of saying "hey, it wasn't me, it was the cactus." Let me make my stand clear. I believe God made man. God made plants. God made the seas, the rivers, the mountains... basically everything. And no plant or fish or frog or turtle placed in whatsoever position or watsoever "great" timing changes God's plans for me. God makes the decisions, for He is my creator. To tell God that "I don't want to trust you for my future, I want to trust that I can use water, plants, animals to deal with my future..." is basically saying "God I don't need You BUT I'll rely on things You created..." I don't know about you, I think that sounds pretty stupid dun it?

Thanking God!

2007-11-14T09:53:00.000+08:00

I dreaded to come to work today... only thinking about problems at work and how to solve it etc. Like normal la right...we only think about how life is difficult for us.... until i got an email from a friend... about some of the poorest people in china and how they live... and I was absolutely slapped back into place, that I've really got it good. I wish I could put up the powerpt file here, but looks like I can't attach any files. Bottomline, while I'm sitting here with aircon, clean clothes, proper shoes, breakfast to eat... there's millions out there that live in rooms filled with rubbish (which is how they earn a living, they sort thru and sell rubbish)...no money for medicine, for education, just getting by day by day from other's discarded rubbish..... and I'm so ashamed cause here I am thinking I don't earn enough, my house needs alot of stuff..etc..etc... Man I am small :( We complain all the time, service is bad, food is not nice, this sucks, that sucks, govt sucks, work sucks, too little time, not enough money, the list goes on and on... But actually how many of us take the time each day to thank God for how really good our lives are? And come on as long as you're reading this, your life is good. So I dunno about you, but I certainly think I have to start thanking God each and everyday.

SUCCESS!!

2007-11-13T16:44:00.000+08:00

Yes!! I managed to export my old blog postings!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!! However its a lot of work. It has to be done one by one...sigh.... oh well, at least it can be done :)

Why a new blog...

2007-11-13T15:35:00.000+08:00

Sigh... i have not blogged for a long time now. The last time i wrote anything was in April and on my Friendster blog. More than 6 mths ago. However I don't really use Friendster now, therefore I thought, heck I'll start writing again but on Blogspot. I vainly tried to "export" all my old postings from Friendster... but i failed miserably. I might get to it one find day. But not right now. Too lazy =p Now why have i not been blogging? Various reasons... the ever popular "too busy" is high on the list. Secondly, it came to a point where i was too tired of watching what i write. In essense a blog is to express oneself. But if everytime i wrote i think "oh no, this that person would be reading it and they might not like it, i might get reprimanded etc etc" (and I have gotten that), then blogging becomes a very stressful activity. However, as I have just recently been told by Shaun (my bf), I should write regardless of what others say. Gave it some thought and so here I am. Rambling online to nobody in particular ;) I don't know who will read this, and I don't really care. Cause its just me and my confused thoughts. And it feels good to be able to express all my stupid and confused thoughts. Alrighty, back to work now, more later :)

The Greatest Advice - Rick Warren

2007-07-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

THE GREATEST ADVICE - Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life Don't date because you are desperate. Don't marry because you are miserable. Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior. Don't philander because you think you are irresistible. Don't associate with people you can ' t trust. Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don ' t pretend. Don't dictate because you are smarter. Don't demand because you are stronger. Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder. Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate! Don't regress. Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back. Don't put your life on hold for possibly Ms. / Mr. Right. Don't throw your life away on absolutely Ms. /Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking. Learn a new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career. Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life ' s more hasty decisions. To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless. To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy. To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty. Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you are not ready. Don't keep others waiting needlessly. Go on that trip. Don't postpone it. Say those words. Don't let the moment pass. Do what you have to, even at society's scorn. Write poetry. Love Deeply. Walk barefoot. Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself. Don ' t wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except YOU. It isn ' t true that life does not get easier with age. It only gets more challenging. Don ' t be afraid. Don ' t lose your capacity to love. Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don ' t lose faith in God. Don ' t grow old. Just grow YOU! When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you ' ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time. Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. God is good all the time!

Christians

2007-04-08T20:36:00.000+08:00

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting, "I'm clean living." I'm whispering, "I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Life.....

2007-03-27T03:00:00.000+08:00

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Carl Jung

Excerpts from....

2007-03-22T14:03:00.000+08:00

Been reading "Reaching for The Invisible God" ..for the i think 3rd time. Find myself still pretty much caught in Philip Yancey's narrative and thought I'll share some excerpts. Its a great book. Recommend it for any Christian that has ever had any thoughts/doubts as to your faith & your relationship with God. Its definitely not a "feel good" , all rainbows in the sky type of book. It deals with real thoughts, real emotions: of pain, of lost, of loneliness, of uncertainty or doubts, of failure, of being the odd one out; and real "dark moments" in your life. And it assures you that you are not alone in your moments/seasons of doubt and waivering faith in a God that we cannot physically see or touch. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Excerpts from the book that I truly enjoy: " Merton adds: We receive enlightenment only in proportion as we give ourselves more and more completely to God by humble submission and love. We do not first see, then act: we act, then see....And that is why the man who waits to see clearly, before he will believe, never starts on the journey. " ...pg90

" The physicist John Polkinghorne, who resigned his post at Cambridge to seek ordination as an Anglican priest, points out a major difference between knowing science and knowing theology. Science progressively accumulates knowledge: first Ptolemy, then Galileo, Copernicus, Newton and Einstein. Each of these scientists built on the foundation of those who preceeded him, so that ordinary scientist today has a more accurate conception of the physical world than was ever possible for Sir Isaac Newton. Knowledge of God proceeds in an entirely different manner. Every encounter is unique and individual, just like any meeting between two persons, so that a fifth century mystic or an illiterate immigrant may have a deeper knowledge of God than a twentieth-century theologian. " ...pg27

" I mention these failures not to dampen anyone's faith but to add a dose of realism to spiritual propaganda that promises more than it can deliver. In an odd way the very failures of the church prove its doctrine. Grace, like water, flows to the lowest part. We in the church have humility and contrition to offer the world, not a formula for success. Almost alone in our success-oriented society, we admit that we have failed, are failing and always will fail. The church in A.D. 3000 will be as rife with problems as the church in A.D. 2000 or 1000. That is why we turn to God so desperately. " ...pg 20

" Why is God shy? Why does God hide? Why so gentle? God recognizes that WE are the ones on the journey, not himself. The journey does not transpire like a treasure hunt, such that if we follow the instructions and look hard enough we will find the treasure. No, the journey itself is the goal. The very quest for God, our determined pursuit, changes us in the ways that matter most. The silence and darkness we encounter, the temptations, and even the sufferings can all contribute to God's stated goal of shaping us into persons more like he intended - more like his Son." ...pg120

" There is, however, a sure way to promote God's absence. C.S. Lewis sets it out clearly: Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation. If you must read books, select them very carefully. But you'd be safer to stick to the papers. You'll find the advertisements helpful; especially those with a sexy or a snobbish appeal. " ...pg 122

Following up on New Year's Resolution

2007-03-05T18:54:00.000+08:00

Its now March, close to 3 months into 2007...that's a quarter of a year. And just thought that I'll "evaluate" my new year's resolutions and whether I'm actually achieving any of it :p (macam big company results like that...haha)

So here goes :-

1. Read the whole Bible (trying) 2. Lose weight (7 kgs to be exact) (lost 2 kgs...woohooooooo!! 5 more to go) 3. Complain less (hmmm....i think I'm not.... I think... =p ) 4. Be less critical (trying... dunno whether I'm succeeding) 5. Tone down on my sarcasm (hmmmm....well, dun have to do it all at once, right??) 6. Instigate CHANGE & not fear it (definitely improving ;) ... more needs to be done) 7. Read more (yes!) 8. Build a strong Marketing team (still doing...will know at the end of the year, for now it looks good) 9. Work less, play more... (yes, i think i'm no longer as hardup for working hard...keke) 10. Take up dance classes (ahem...someone promised to start with me April onwards) 11. Finish my art and craft projects (doing cross stitch :) got others that have to re-start on) 12. Finish the jigsaw (Ships at War) (definitely need to korek this thing out from my store room...hehe... means that's a no la)

Not bad.... i think I'm on the way... if by end of 2007 I can do 6 of the 12, I think I'll be happy :) Especially no. 1 & 2.... hehe

Love is...

2007-03-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

They say it's a river that circles the Earth A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe It conquers all, it changes everything They say it's a blessing, they say it's a gift They say it's a miracle and I believe that it is It conquers all, but it's a mystery Love breaks your heart Love takes no less than everything Love makes it hard And it fades away so easily In this world we created, in this place that we live In the blink of an eye, babe, the darkness slips in Love lights the world unites the lovers for eternity... Love breaks the chains Love aches for every one of us Love takes the tears and the pain And turns it into the beauty that remains Look at this place, it was paradise But now it's dying I'll pray for love I'll take my chances, that it's not too late Love breaks your heart Love takes no less than everything Love makes it hard And it fades away so easily Oh Oh Oh, Love breaks the chain Love aches for every one of us Love take the tears and the pain And it turns it into the beauty that remains BrianMcKnight&VanessaWilliams

Perfect man?

2007-02-28T18:28:00.000+08:00

So many people are getting married left right centre, Made me wonder whether has everyone found their MR Right or their perfect man??? And that's why they are getting married? Or is it because age is catching up, women end up settling? Hey, I mean no one wants to be the "Spinster" lady, right? How many are getting married because they truly will do anything and everything, will go thru thick and thin, in sickness and in health, till death do u part??

This CNY, as with the last few ones, kept getting asked or told to get married =p like its the one thing in life that MUST be done. Well, too bad cos i'm not gonna settle just for the sake of settling. Hey, marriage is for a lifetime. No play play, no rehearsals, no dun like can press RESET button!! So heck I'm taking my time to know myself first before knowing what or who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I've known too many couples who just get married and then end up hating each other. Separated. Divorced.

I'm sure every couple who gets married are like totally in love and would think wonderful things about each other, and gushing & giggling down the aisle.... but somehow i really dun want that. I don't want to be in a relationship that is just sugar and fluff. And you're just happy happy all the time. Never fight. Everything is rosy. I know this might sound bitter or sad, but i want someone that i can fight with, someone that will get angry with me, someone that will have a yelling match with me. Spending a lifetime together is a long long time, how long can rosy, fluffy ad sugary last??

My Perfect Man has got to be as flawed as I am. As sarcastic as I am. As stubborn as I am (if not how to make it last..hehe). Don't want no "yes" man. Need someone that respects my thoughts and my opinions, but doesn't compromise his own. Need a man not scared of showing his soft side and yet protect me with his strength and bravery. But most importantly i need someone who will fear God.

This "Perfect Man" exist? I'm sure he does. Actually I know he does ;)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Kevin EMAIL: kevinboo78@yahoo.com IP: 219.74.41.38 URL: http://www.friendster.com/1614859 DATE: 03/01/2007 07:40:08 AM i THINK you just kinda describe my good buddy? which would fit REALLY well to that descriptions! hhmmm.... come to think of it, you ARE seeing him! muahahaha....... hows life miss chan? ada sihat? ada baik? gue punya brother threating you right?u threating gue punya brother right? =) -----

Past Love....

2007-02-16T15:03:00.000+08:00

I attended my ex-bf's wedding the other day...and so many people were amazed, shocked that i would or can do such a thing. What's the big deal? Hmmmmm.... i think other ppl were more uncomfortable with the idea than me actually going there and sitting thru the whole thing ... haha

I wondered - why the discomfort? I believe that loving someone doesn't stop just because the "romantic" relationship has ended. You can love someone as a friend, as someone who has shared your life in the past... I really wish my ex-bf all the best in his life and that his marriage would be all that he wishes for.

But really, does love just end because your relationship has ended? I would hope that my heart is big enough to continue loving someone even though we're no longer together. I think the love just changes to another type of love. A love for someone that knows you and has shared a season of your life together with you. Well that's what I hope.

Heard a lovely song of love lost, past love... somehow the lyrics really touched me...especially the first two lines... makes me remember ;) .... the song is :

Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow & Sting My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away But every now and then you come to mind Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game But when your name was called, you found a place to hide When you knew that I was always on your side Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent But my demons and my angels reappeared Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be Too afraid to hear the words I'd always feared Leavin' you with only questions all these years Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally This isn't how it's really meant to be No, it isn't how it's really meant to be Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear, How to pull it close and make it stay Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away And I'm left to carry on and wonder why Even through it all, I'm always on your side Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally Is this how its really meant to be? no, this isn't how its really meant to be Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear How to pull it close and make it stay Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away, Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why Was it you that kept me wandering through this life When you know that I was always on your side?

Time & Tide Waits for No Man nor Woman

2007-02-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

OMG time is passing so fast!! Yday it was New Year's and today is Feb 7!! Time is like zipping by like a crazed drugged up road runner!! Is it me or as I get older time passes by faster?? Used to be in school, it seemed like the year was taking forever to pass... u just couldn't wait for when u were 12, when ur 16, 18, 21.... then suddenly, wham bam, you're 28!! Like wooooaaaahhhhhh, what happenedd??!! Now everyone is getting married, having kids...moving away, starting their own business, and its like everyone is racing ahead. Something to race after, a dream, And little old me here just wants some free and relaxing time to Slooooooooooooowly enjoy life. What's the whole rush people???!! I know la, life is short... but no one told me life accelerates after 26! There's just too much to do, too little time. Everyone wants ur time, everything is deadlines and meetings are endless & time consuming ..... Sigh. I think i'm just gonna go home, lock the doors, off the phone, turn on some jazz music, pour a glass of wine or orange juice, get a good book and snuggle in bed and slooooooooooooowly enjoy life. The world is moving too fast for me...and I dun want to turn 30 so soon =p

Are you in a rat race?

2007-01-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

As a young working adult in a corporate world, i have had countless times when i wonder what's it all for? Why do we run the race? I feel that its called the "RAT" race because many who run it & run it successfully, act very much like rats. Big fat Filthy, disgusting, conniving RATS!

So question is, how do you do well without being a rat? Is it so hard to be successful in the corporate world by being nice, truthful, hardworking and helpful?

Or has being a rat been so ingrained into some people that things just can't change? Its damn sad really because there are so many things more to life than a job, a great salary, a great job title, a big car, ridiculously expensive watches....

I know some people who have lost their souls running in this rat race. To the point that stabbing a colleague in the back, lying, gossiping, murmuring, creating malicious stories are so ingrained in them that its as natural as breathing. N for these people they won't be able to see that breathing is wrong, right or not?

I'm a Christian struggling to reconcile the work place and my beliefs. I mean, its really not easy to "Love Thy Enemy"...or even love everyone for that matter. I try, I really do...but rats are not exactly the most lovable things around =p

I have feelings like everyone else, being a Christian doesn't mean suddenly superhuman, shoot also won't die. BUT looks like alot of rats want Christians (who are trying very hard not to scream, slap or punch rats) to fall....its like they take glee in saying "see, christian woh, but also like everyone else wat".

Its true we are like everyone else; we have feelings, we get hurt and angry too. But don't for one minute think that we are weak and easy targets! Working in a RAT infested world and not being a rat is one of the hardest things. Choosing to do the right thing isn't appreciated...even though its damn hard to do the right thing. The rat race has made it so easy to do all the wrong things!

Everytime things get hard, or hopeless, or people get mean and all I want to do is punch them in the face, I CHOOSE TO TRUST IN GOD, PRAY FOR STRENGTH, SUBMIT my anger and my frusfration and try (really really hard) to LOVE rats. So don't tell me all Christian's are all so happy happy, so fake, so cheerful all the time...like no problems in the world. That's not true. TRY loving rats, then come tell me Christian's are a weak lot.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: James EMAIL: jamestanyl76@yahoo.com IP: 202.188.227.82 URL: http://www.friendster.com/9658518 DATE: 01/14/2007 07:55:33 PM well said sis..that is why we need GRACE..not easy to live our way which ends up we being more frustrated..well, u are not alone in this race..lets encourage and challenge each other : ) -----

Birthday Blues

2007-01-11T11:01:00.000+08:00

Today is my birthday and I'm officially over the hill. I am now described as LATE-twenties. Gone are the days I can pretend that I'm still in my MID-twenties.

What have I learnt from these 28 years? Here are some:

We are who we choose to be
Decisions we make come with repercussions
Everyone makes mistakes. Some big major ones. Some very hurtful ones too
Forgiving is easy, forgetting is hard, trusting again is almost impossible
Good friends are those who respect your choices, and never laughs AT you when the choices are wrong
Those who laugh with you doesn't necessarily cry with you
The world is never black and white
Gossips are easy to tell and spread, they are vicious and mean
Truth is hardly even seen, tho everyone ask for it. However most can't deal with it
A hug or a phone call is always better than a SMS
TV waste alot of time which can be spent talking/being with ppl and not just sending SMSes
Money can't buy happiness. I have not met a single rich brat which is truly happy with all the things that money can buy them
Talk is easy and cheap
A listening ear is very hard to find
Accepting that other ppl have their own views and standards is very hard. Most of us want to change people
Humour is really important in life
When I'm with real friends, I can laugh and cry at the same time

Miss you :(

2007-01-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

New Year's Resolution

2007-01-03T17:30:00.000+08:00

Its the 3rd day of the NEW year. I thought I'd write down my resolutions to make sure that I don't forget them or break them... Sort of like putting it on record or making it black and white. Binding ;)

So here goes...my Resolutions for 2007: 1. Read the whole Bible 2. Lose weight (7 kgs to be exact) 3. Complain less 4. Be less critical 5. Tone down on my sarcasm 6. Instigate CHANGE & not fear it 7. Read more 8. Build a strong Marketing team 9. Work less, play more... 10. Take up dance classes 11. Finish my art and craft projects 12. Finish the jigsaw (Ships at War)

A Chapter in Life is coming to an end...

2006-12-19T12:04:00.000+08:00

I started to pack my things yday for the move into my new place.... and it got me going down memory lane. Thinking about all the times that I have moved and how each time it has changed my life. And I realise a chapter of my life is coming to an end...i shall be leaving my family nest and embarking on a life long journey of being independent and away from the security of my parents home. And the thought is both scary and exciting at the same time. I have stayed out from my parents place before...but never like this... this seems so....permanent.

I remember the first time i moved... in Form 1...from Bukit Bintang to Sri Petaling... at that time, my world seemed like it was suddenly put in the washing machine and everything got shaken,turned,tumbled and came out all different (new & clean?? Not!)... from there i started taking a school bus, and oh the memories of all the crazy things that I did....hahaha.... nothing majorly BAD but definitely fun and crazy. That's when i got close to Shwu Yi...that's when i met my first bf (knew him 2 years first la)... that's when i totally screwed up my ankles (till this day, its loose)... my first real encounter with a lying, backstabbing friend (I shall not name names)....

Then I moved again....to Bandar Utama (Form 3)... that was also a major change. Bandar Utama during those days didn't even have One U yet...now there's two massive wings!! No school bus. PUBLIC transport!! And my trusty feet :p Stayed there through my WILD secondary days...haha... Did many many unmentionable things. And a lot of stupid things... fun, crazy stuff...etc.... Then came college and....well....too much too tell la...haha. Looking back they were good times, really good fun times :) All happy and without any worries in the world.

And now I've been staying in TTDI for the last 7 years. Many many things have changed and happened while i was staying here. College ended, work life started... So many more memories were made. As I'm packing my stuff I realise that I've kept soooooo many things...alot of pictures, gifts, cards, nick nacks, calendars, diaries...and as I go through each of it I start reminiscing, start laughing, some memories are sad too (which all has made my packing alot slower...hehe)

I'm really moving with a heavy heart... I didn't think that I would be, at first i thought i would be all happy and excited and can't wait to go... but I guess I do have a heart...hahaha Think that my heavy heart might have to do with all memories...

I am looking forward to a new door in my life that is opening.... a bit scared la, but a bit excited as well ;) I wonder wat else God has planned for me.... I guess I'll know the next time I move and look back ;)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Marcus EMAIL: marcus.van.geyzel@gmail.com IP: 218.111.124.126 URL: http://www.friendster.com/15445947 DATE: 12/20/2006 03:59:52 AM eh... where u moving to lah? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Fung EMAIL: meifung_1101@hotmail.com IP: 203.115.247.162 URL: http://www.friendster.com/2840340 DATE: 12/20/2006 07:02:10 PM aiyoh...not a regular reader of my blog hah? hahaha...no worries... just jk. Anyway, moving to Kelana Mahkota, in Kelana Jaya ;) -----

Nightmare

2006-12-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

its a NIGHTMARE trying to juggle work, all the holiday season shopping, wrapping, everyone's weddings AND preparing my new place... and packing & moving.... EVERYTHING is happening all at once!! sob sob... my Christmas wish: that I can have 48hrs in a day for this season =p

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Su Leen EMAIL: hosuleen@gmail.com IP: 40.250.0.9 URL: http://www.friendster.com/5392728 DATE: 12/19/2006 04:29:56 PM OLA! U know this is the first time I'm reading your rantings.... interesting! I think u are insightful. Yeah lar...introverts are like that huh.....:) When is moving day??Or is it moving days.... Lemme know one day that u need to do clean up or moving stuff...and I'll get a couple of us to come lend a hand...if one person helps for two hours, and i get 12 people to help...that gives you 24 hours of work and since you have your own 24 hours that God gave u anyway, THERE YOU GO! 48 hours!!! Your wish is my command!! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Fung EMAIL: meifung_1101@hotmail.com IP: 203.115.247.162 URL: http://www.friendster.com/2840340 DATE: 12/20/2006 07:19:10 PM aiyoh kawan u very cute la. Thanks for VOLUNTEERING 12 ppl...haha... but i think the worst is over. The most time consuming thing is going around and around looking for stuff for the house. Cleaning house, I got the perfect person: Shaun Perumal. He is SUPER clean...hahaha. But I think the best thing u can do with the 12 ppl is to COOK! for my housewarming? hehehe -----

My favourite season is coming :)

2006-11-27T10:09:00.000+08:00

ITS COMING ITS COMING!! CHRISTMAS IS COMING!! =)

My favourite time of the WHOLEEEEEEE year. Christmas! I actually sometimes like it better than my own birthday....hahaha

Love the songs, the caroling, the gift buying, the gift wrapping (which usually last until the wee hours of the morning on Christmas day), the gift unwrapping...hehehe =)

But most of all...the peace and joy that surrounds the celebration of the birth of Christ. I think its most aptly illustrated with this song:

Oh Holy Night

Oh holy night! The stars are brightly shining It is the night of the dear Savior's birth! Long lay the world in sin and error pining Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees Oh hear the angel voices Oh night divine Oh night when Christ was born Oh night divine Oh night divine Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming Here come the wise men from Orient land The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger In all our trials born to be our friend. Truly He taught us to love one another His law is love and His gospel is peace Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother And in His name all oppression shall cease Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, Let all within us praise His holy name

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!! May it be a season of hope, joy and love. May God bless everyone of you. And pray that you will let Jesus's love and sacrifice fill your hearts!

Things I want to do before I die

2006-11-23T16:37:00.000+08:00

In no particular order:-

I want to visit the Vatican City
I want to smell and touch actual tulips (the ones still attached to the soil)
I want to sing on stage (though i might die of fright)
I want to spend a season in time just sketching & painting everyday.
I want to have 5 kids
I want to have 2 dozen grandchildren
I want to be 70years old walking around, holding hands and eating ice-cream with my husband
I want to write a book (doesn't matter if no one reads it)
I want to go bungee jumping

I want to take a cruise

I want to visit the five continents (at least 2 countries in each continent)

I want to teach my children to sing, dance, draw and cook

I want to make quilts for my grandchildren

I want to sponsor an orphaned child

I want to go snorkelling

I want to take a gondola ride in Venice before it sinks

I want to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa before it crumbles

I want to visit the Louvre Museum and roam around for a week

I want to have a library full of books in my home

I want to learn how to play the piano (i don't play any musical instruments)

I want to go ballroom dancing and learn all the different dances (salsa, merengue, cha cha, Swing, Waltz, rumba, Swing, Jive, Line Dancing)

I want to drop everything, go to the airport and fly off to a holiday destination.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: May Leeng EMAIL: mleeng@hotmail.com IP: 218.208.249.15 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=11270531 DATE: 11/23/2006 03:42:19 AM Hmm....a whole long list of thingyz!!! i can help you fulfill a few of it...hee:- 1) I can give you piano lessons (however, it might take you forever to learn...hee....your fingers might be a bit stiff considering your age =P) 2) I can contribute to your "library" (you'll be receiving books for your burfday, christmas etc.) 3) As for your ballroom dancing, you should save it for your social activities in your 50's...hee 4) I will be your audience when you sing. 5) I will give you a "push" for your bungee jump!!! = P ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Lee EMAIL: nahf@hotmail.com IP: 60.51.125.140 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=5220804 DATE: 11/27/2006 06:13:38 AM May Leeng.... Point number '1' is suicidal enough for you! Mei Fung, I can help you fulfill a few too: 1. Books...can la. Give me ur list. 2. Holiday trips...can too. We can plan go somewhere together. ML and me planning to go US next yr. Lets go together! 3. I can be ur audience too... if forced to. 4. Bungee jump. U jump..I jump! Heehehe....

feeling lost

2006-11-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

this whole week has been spent hibernating at home. And I realise that humans are not meant to hibernate. God never made us to hibernate. I felt worse after the week of hibernation. I thought that I just needed to get away from everyone, everything... but somehow nothing goes away and more more just builds up. I think that's how ppl get into depression.

I have decided that enough is enough, i am not gonna be sucked into depression. I have the ultimate solution. I'm going for RETAIL THERAPY!!

Hahaha....no problem too big that some good shopping, good food and good company won't heal. Really, God made friends to make all things bearable.

Working on Mondays should be BANNED!!

2006-11-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

My eyes are closing, my body is aching, my stomach is bloated, my brain is dead... the sky is getting dark.....Its another RAINY MONDAY... sigh

The whole purpose of today's blog entry is to WHINE. You can stop reading now cos this whole entry is for me. I just need an outlet to whine and not do my work. Weekends are not long enuff to heal from the gruelling weekdays.

I even chose a boring colour for this boring entry for this boring and dreary day...

And a quote to match today :- "Work is a necessary evil to be avoided" Mark Twain haha....i'm going bonkers! Someone please take me away from MONDAY!!

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Siaobai EMAIL: siaobai@hotmail.com IP: 60.49.152.154 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=9162752 DATE: 11/15/2006 03:03:50 AM hahaa, just wanna u to know tt im ur faithful reader =) i agree, esply on a rainy day...fell sooo sleeeepy -.- ....lizzzy. fOoNg *o* -----

A Love That Will Last

2006-11-08T09:13:00.000+08:00

I want a little something more Don't want the middle or the one before I don't desire a complicated past I want a love that would last

Say that you love me Say i'm the one Don't kiss and hug me and then try to run

I don't do drama My tears dun fall fast I want a love that would last

I don't want just a memory Give me forever Don't even think about saying goodbye

Cos i just want one love to be enough and remain in my heart till i die

So, call me romantic I guess that's so There's something more that you outta know I'll never leave you So don't even ask,

I want a love that would last, Forever, I want a love that would last

I don't want just a memory Give me forever Don't even think about saying goodbye Cos I just want one love to be enough and remain in my heart till I die

So there's just a little more that i need I want a share of the air that you breath

I'm not that kind of girl to complicate the past I want a love that would last Forever I want a love that would last Always I just want a love that would last

I want a love that would last

********************************************Renee Olstead - A Love That Will Last

Why do I blog?

2006-10-30T18:30:00.000+08:00

Was reading an article yesterday in a magazine...while my hair was being cut and highlighted :)

anyways...the article was on why ppl blog....So i was thinking, why do i blog?? Well... when i first started I was just trying something that everyone was talking about and i thought ok, i'll just try and see if I have anything to say...

Then as I went along I've found that there are actually people who are reading this....hahaha.... actually I didn't think that anyone was reading anything that I was writing...so basically it was for me...for me to just put into writing things that I was thinking of... I usually don't talk about what I'm doing day to day... some big things I would write abt but I don't sit in front of my laptop and write every single day about what I ate, where i went and what i did... But I really like the thought that I can just share wat I'm thinking of...what I feel about certain things...my views and things that I've observed... I didn't know if anyone was reading it, so I just wrote whatever i liked... But recently I've found out that more and more friends actually read my blog to see what has been happening to me.... which was funny cos I never thought of blogging as a way to keep in touch with friends...maybe bcos I write my own blog but not many of my friends have blogs and also i dun have much time to read other ppl's blogs

So back to why I blog....Maybe its because I'm an introvert, I really dun like talking all that much (tho my bf would think otherwise bcos he alway says that he has to pay me to keep quiet, but that's a side of me most ppl would not see) So just quietly sitting here and typing out wat i think is something "therapeudic" for me...I get to vent out how I feel...I can share articles that I like... talk about things that I care about...talk abt how stupid some things in life are.... tell friends that I care (even tho I dun say it much)...

So that's why I blog. Hope I haven't bored whoever is reading this ;)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: James EMAIL: jamestanyl76@yahoo.com IP: 202.188.227.82 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=9658518 DATE: 10/30/2006 06:55:36 PM zzzzz..bore who..zzzz..: p anyway, blogging is a way of saying I am still alive and kicking..so, call me, talk to me, email me..: )..zzzzzzz... James -----

How easy we forget...

2006-10-26T00:08:00.000+08:00

As a human being like everyone else...I tend to forget all the good and remember and grumble about all the bad :( Just wanted to remind myself to remember the good. And let go of any offenses. I think everyone's life would be alot easier if they spend more time remembering the good. And complaining less. Like for instance, Malaysia isn't all that bad. There is so much good, yet everyday we hear people complain about their own country. How bad the employment is, the salary, the environment, the transport system.... we forget how good we have it here in Malaysia. We don't have wars, we dun have any natural disasters, we have a stable government and economy. We have a freedom of religion (most of us anyway). We have good houses to stay in, we have cars to drive, we have an education system. All of which so many countries wish that they could have. Yet we spend our time just complaining and comparing. Why dun we compare with ppl who still stay in mud houses? Ppl who can't even go out of their own without wearing veils and covering everything and do not even have their own face to show? Why dun we compare with countries where going to school means walking for 2 hours and having one book to share? And we dun just grumble about the country....we grumble about almost everything. And I for one have come to realise that as long as I keep grumbling, I will not see the good.... So, from today onwards, I shall try my very very very best to see the good in everything... in people that i work with, in my friends, in my family, in my loved ones, in my colleagues, in my office, in my church, in my community, and in my country. Man i sound patriotic today.....hahahaha

So ppl, stop grumbling. Close the mouth, open the eyes and SEE the good in everything ;)

Love is... hardwork

2006-10-25T03:53:00.000+08:00

When i was in school, i used to collect these small cute comics called... "Love is..." and these comics had various sayings....eg. Love is growing old together; Love is keeping a picture of him in your wallet...etc...etc... And they were all really cute.

But i just wanted to say...they missed one...that is: LOVE IS...HARDWORK and its not cute :p

Changes in Life...

2006-10-10T04:47:00.000+08:00

Life keeps on changing...at 27 i would have thought that for myself and for the close friends around me we would all have pretty much settled down and probably married, starting a family or in a very stable job. But in the last few weeks and months, I have found that that is not the case. People closes to me are all still changing...some changing bf's or breaking up or starting new relationships, changing jobs, going to different countries to work, to study, some just undecided of what their next step is...etc

As for myself...i think most ppl still think I'm in Maybank...which is not the case, I've quit Mayyyyyyyybankkkkkkkk....bcos like how I've spelt it, that's how fast paced it was. I was bored to tears. Work was slow, ppl were dull and well...let's not go there :p So I lefted Maybank. And now I'm with LexisNexis... a brand new start again....an exciting one tho.

The scary thing is I'm turning 28 soon. At 18 i thought that by 28 i would be married and starting a family soon, but in reality now that 28 is coming...I'm not even close to getting married yet. Tho its not that I'm complaining...cos i've made my choices and not getting married was one of them. But how different things have turned out in all our lives. Its almost exactly 10 years since secondary school, so many changes in everyone. Heck I've put on 14kgs since!!! hahahaha

The changes in my life....hmmmm....well, nobody who knew me would have thought i would be going out with an indian guy. Happily and willlingly ;) Some are still laughing about it & waiting till i let my dad know :p for those who dunno...well...here's a picture of Shaun (love this picture ;D)

About my career...I studied accounting and finance and ended up a marketing manager...this still gets to ppl...makes them all go "huh??"

And now when I look at college kids who say "i'm gonna do this and that by a certain age...I'll get married at so and so age...I'll have this and that by when and when"....i go "hmmmm, don't be too sure..." Life really has a way of suprising you.

I'm moving out of my family house soon. which is another thing that i thought i would do only when i get married...but since i'm 27 i felt that Heck, I might as well know what its like living alone...i might never have the chance again...or it might be something i need to get used to...haha...yes, spinster nest...hahaha... (private joke, u guys kno who u are)

Friends and family have not changed much I guess...my close friends thru the years have remained kinda close...of course some of which have drifted slightly as distance and time does not permit too much interaction (those reading this and feeling guilty, yes it means you, so u better write!!)

At the rate that things are changing I do believe there is much more changes to come. So to all my friends out there, choose wisely the path you take in life, don't turn back and regret. Enjoy life and don't spend it looking back in regret. I do believe God has a path for everyone of us, and we really dunno what it is, but he does have a plan and a future for us (Jeremiah 29:11) And its a good plan ;)

So i hope and pray for all my friends out there that God will bless and protect everyone of you, through all the changes in your life. Some changes may seem really scary.... but that's why we have friends to share life with ;)

The people in your life....

2006-08-22T18:48:00.002+08:00

Came across this "questionnaire" of sorts.....thought it was pretty good to remember the ppl in your life ;)....so here goes.... Name 5 people who make you laugh… 1. Shaun Perumal 2. Sharon Tan 3. Keng 4. Lorraine Rosario 5. Juliana Affandi Tan Name 5 friends who helped you up while you are down… 1. May Leeng 2. Tymi 3. Mei Peng 4. Shwu Yi 5. Shireen 6. Shaun Name 5 friends who would share their meal with you… 1. Shaun 2. May Leeng 3. Mei Lee 4. Ngai Yong 5. Mei Peng 6. Shwu Yi 7. Sharon Tan (remember your mum’s tupperwares…kekeke) 8. Farah 9. Shireen Name 5 colleague/ex-colleagues who you consider friends… 1. Sharon Tan 2. Lorraine Rosario 3. Pearly Tan 4. Juliana Affandi Tan 5. Theresa Tang 6. Andrew Boey 7. April Ng 8. Yvonne Miranda Name 5 friends who always remembers your birthday 1. May Leeng 2. Mei Lee 3. Shwu Yi 4. Tymi 5. Shireen Name 5 people who will be with you thick or thin 1. My family (that’s like 10 already…haha) Name 5 people you can call in the middle of the night 1. Shaun 2. May Leeng 3. Mei Peng 4. My sisters (3 already ;p) Name 5 people who would pray for you 1. Shaun 2. Shawn 3. Jill 4. Ps Tim 5. Hao Lin 6. Steven Name 5 people you would go vacation with 1. Shaun 2. May Leeng 3. Ngai Yong 4. Mei Lee 5. Mei Peng 6. My whole family ;) ….that’s like 11 ppl… we just came back from camping in Kuantan….before that was caving in Gua Tempurung Name 5 people that you like just lepaking with 1. Shaun 2. May Leeng 3. Mei Peng 4. Mei Lee 5. Ngai Yong 6. Shireen 7. Farah 8. Joey 9. Vilas 10. Sharon 11. Lorraine 12. Julie 13. April 14. Keng Name 5 people who would go shopping with you the whole day 1. May Leeng 2. Mei Lee 3. Mei Peng 4. Ngai Yong 5. Shaun 6. Lai Khuan Name 5 people who have remain in contact for 10 years or more 1. Mei Lee (21 years) 2. Shwu Yi (20 years) 3. May Leeng (15 years) 4. Laura (15 years) 5. Erina (15 years) 6. Mei Peng (12 years) 7. Ngai Yong (12 years)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Lee EMAIL: nahf@hotmail.com IP: 202.180.171.240 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=5220804 DATE: 08/28/2006 08:16:27 AM Hi Mei Fung, From your list: 1. Found that you can't count. Read: 5. You've named more that 5 for most of it. 2. I won't share with you for "Name 5 friends who would share their meal with you". I will give you my meal if you want. (Psstt.. wanna stay slim). 3. I'm so honoured for "Name 5 people who have remain in contact for 10 years or more ". I'm first in the List! (That shows we are OLD also). 4. It's either MUA, May Leeng, Mei Peng or Ngai Yong. That shows you love us. We love you back...and that's LOTS of it too! :)

KL life is becoming dangerous...

2006-08-18T07:59:00.000+08:00

KL is beginning to sound damn scary to live in. Everyday we read in the papers abt rape, robberies, break-ins, murder.... it doesn't seem to stop... doesn't matter if its in broad daylight with plenty of people and cars everywhere, no ones gonna do anything, so why should the thieves be scared. Have we become a society that just doesn't care abt other ppl? And then when it happens to us, then we suddenly loudly proclaim, "why nobody help???"

But can we really blame anyone, i'm sure we've all heard abt all the con jobs going around...who dares to stop and help? what if turn around, we get hurt instead? I guess its all a chicken and egg thing.... which is so sad...

Read in the papers on tuesday, that a step father raped his step-daugher... and her own mother ask for the courts to drop the charges... that she "forgives" her husband... WHAT THE HELL?????? What happens to her daughter that got raped??? She's only 15!! And she got preganant because of the rape. DAMNIT!! How could a mother do that to her own daughter???!!! Society is just getting so bloody sick.

We hear of all sorts of things that happen, and we take all precaution and care for it not to happen to ourselves or our loved ones. But to hear that a small young girl has to go through that, and her own mother doesn't help her.... its just sooooooo sad. The man is a sick animal.... BUT the mother, bloody hell even animals take care of their own young.... have we become a society that is below animals????

Anyways, to all my friends out there....especially the girls.... do take care... life in the city is getting very unsafe. Take every precaution that you can. I'm sure all of you know the drill.... avoid dark places, dun put your bags on the passenger seat, carry a pepper spray, never let a stranger approach you too close, or smell/sniff anything.... RUN if anything is wrong... FIGHT if anyone grabs you... if possible NEVER let him take you away. You already kno how he looks like, possibility of him subsequently letting you go is very small.

Take care & God Bless!!

Dedicated to All You Marrying Couples ;)

2006-07-25T20:25:00.000+08:00

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling

EXPENSES EXPENSES!!

2006-06-19T01:26:00.000+08:00

well....was counting all the money that's gonna take for me to move in to my new place....WOW....i think i'm gonna be eating maggi and biscuits for a looooooooong looooooooooong time... =p

KL living is scary...the expenses of just moving into a small condo is amazingly high. Just to make the most basic of things cost about RM14k...*faint* I really mean the basics of the basics, nothing fancy AT ALL.... yet....WAH LIOW EH!!! It just keeps increasing and increasing.... =(

so, if anyone feels like donating any old furniture to me, please do feel free....donations in form of cash is most welcomed.....hahaha

spent the whole saturday and sunday searching for my bed.... apparently some mattresses can cost up to RM14k... PSYCHOS!!! i can do my whole damn place just for the price of ONE mattress. Where do ppl find all these money to waste?????

In any case, finally settle for one that is "supposedly" good for this old lady's back. Damage was about RM1k....which is quite minimal, relatively speaking.....har har.... BUT this is all thanks to my "haggling" other half.... me means I would have paid the price according to the price tag....but my haggling better half got the price down to about half..... =p makes u think how much they actually profit....hmmmmmmm....

aside from worrying about the things that will go into the house.....been searching all the banks in KL for the best housing loan out there.... it shouldn't be legal that we end up paying almost 80% more than the worth of the house!!! Financial institutions are BLOOD suckers i tell you!! Yes, i kno, i work for Maybank....still a fact is a fact.... *sigh*

my new place...

2006-06-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

alright....its confirmed....just signed over my life.....kakaka.... just signed and gave in deposit for my new place yesterday...now to get loan shark to lend me the money (a.k.a. bank)

just found some really nice photos for the condo...

of course these are show room unit punya photos lar....if only i could afford to do the place up like this ;)

the living room...

its a split level...

the dining...

the kitchen....

view from the top.... (cannot see much tho)

the entrance (lobby)

ok....that's all the pictures for now.... might take some of the actual units soon ;) .... but its empty la....not so "interesting"... ;)

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Lin EMAIL: icysandra@hotmail.com IP: 86.52.74.253 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=8003566 DATE: 09/06/2006 12:45:03 AM Very very nice place... Congrats! -----

Gots me a small place of my own :)

2006-06-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

After 3 looooong months of looking at places (condos)... yesterday I finally found a place. Put in an offer and TODAY the owner has agreed...wooo-hooooooooo!!

Quite the excited as this will be my own little "home" :) Damn, feels good! hahaha

Will probably drain me out of all my money...kakaka....but damn it feels great! a big step to get this place all on my own...there's some fears...but right now just really enjoying the moment and the thought of a little place of my own feels realllllllllll good...

A little info on the place....hmmmmmm....its a condo...in Kelana Jaya... the pool is beautiful....its on the 21st floor....it has a BEAUTIFUL view :) its a split level... 2+1 room... 1260sqft... did i mention the beautiful view :)

Ok, that's all for now....might take some pictures and put it up the next time :)

The Marriage Bug is Here

2006-04-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

yup, it has arrived. The marriage bug has arrived!! At 27 years old, people are getting married all around me... its like a pandemic....literally because its happening with friends ALL OVER THE WORLD!! =p

ok ok, maybe i'm getting a wee bit over-exaggerating...but it has just made me think about marriage. Why does one get married? When do u know its the right time? At 27, is my biological clock ticking away like a time bomb? OR should i just relax, sit back and enjoy the life of a "kinda" single girl. Does being single mean that I've fallen behind the bandwagon?? Am i missing something that all those married ppl are "supposedly" enjoying?

Haha... though those questions play in my head I do believe that there is so much more to life than just settling down. I could name dozens of things which i have always wanted to do, yet have not had the opportunity to...either bcos of no money (heck there are bills to be paid) and/or no time (since all I've been doing is climbing the corporate ladder)....

hmmmm...I would like to go bungee jumping, parachuting, explore Italy, overcome my fear of the sea, join something like "the amazing race"...learn how to paint (i mean really on an easel and not painting a wall ;p) ...get my own place, making it home...

Do we women limit ourselves, or is it society that has govern us to just naturally think that we must get married and built a family in order for our lives to be complete?

It has taken a few years just to get myself in a financial state which i can comfortably say that I can go and start doing some of the things that I wish to, provided I have the time...which I am trying to make for now... So why now when I have the opportunity would i want to tie myself down to another "time" consumer of making a marriage work?

Aiiiiiiii.....but at the end of the day, getting married is something that I would want to do eventually. Building a family with the love of your life seems like something dat I wouldn't want to miss out on.

I believe that many get married because it seems like such a romantic thing to do. I've seen couples who get married thinking that life would go on like the way it does when ur single, that nothing changes and you can go right on ahead and do everything that you've been wanting to do. But damn, that's not true at all...things do change, a marriage takes up ALOT of your time...and I haven't even talked about having a family yet... I would hate to end up being married and regretting later on that I've not been able to accomplish or enjoy the things that I've always been wanting to do...

Yes, the marriage bug.

----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Lee EMAIL: nahf@hotmail.com IP: 202.69.68.135 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=5220804 DATE: 04/27/2006 07:11:04 AM MF: You have got the rest of us! Dont see any of us getting married anytime soon. Not for the next 4 yrs at least! ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Kevin EMAIL: kevinboo78@yahoo.com IP: 219.74.33.105 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=1614859 DATE: 06/12/2006 11:03:56 AM eh.....eh.....serious? when? where? what kinda wedding? traditional chinese?christian?heheheh...watttzzzuuupppppp sista???how has it been?? mini oreos depleted already?dunch worry, some coming your way soon! =)question,did it cost you much for the condo? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Fung EMAIL: meifung_1101@hotmail.com IP: 219.94.112.62 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=2840340 DATE: 06/13/2006 09:37:34 PM hey Boo! mini OREOS =) When?? harhar... welllllll....lets put in this way...i'm gonna be in debt until i'm old and gray =p next time u come visit, we go see the place k ;) -----

Just to clear things up

2006-03-21T18:58:00.001+08:00

It has come to my attention, that many are curious and asking questions abt my personal life. I would appreciate, if you are curious, then come and ask me. Whispering, murmuring and gossiping will only get you that far.

So, yes, I am no longer in a relationship with Tymi. We broke up mid Dec. We were together for 3 years. I know everyone thought we were gonna get married. But well, its a long story. And its a private story. That only the parties involved would really understand or know. It would be nice if "uninvited" people would stay out of it. Asking out of concern is good, its great. But dishing out opinions when you don't know what happened, is not very welcomed. Actually its NOT welcomed AT ALL!

Thank you for respecting my personal life. I'm sure you'll expect the same type of respect for your own personal life. ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Kevin EMAIL: kevinboo78@yahoo.com IP: 219.74.197.57 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=1614859 DATE: 03/22/2006 04:24:34 AM WOoooohhh...... so much anger and frustration!Looks like me needs to get ya somemore mini oreos! -=) hows ma fave sister? ----- COMMENT: AUTHOR: Mei Fung EMAIL: meifung_1101@hotmail.com IP: 219.94.112.62 URL: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=2840340 DATE: 03/22/2006 06:34:47 PM sigh...what to do...some ppl no life, so try to find some excitement in their life by butting into others =p YES YES, MINI OREOS!! =)

Definition of Love 2

2006-02-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

1 John 3:16 - 24

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

In the end...

2006-02-28T01:56:00.000+08:00

In the end, are we not alone in this world? Do we not face our maker with no one else by our side? Why then do we try so hard to please those around us? Every step we make brings us closer to meeting Him. Do we waste our time pleasing others, gossiping about others, competing with others, judging others? What do you do with your time?

Definitions of Love?

2006-02-19T22:57:00.000+08:00

Does anyone know how to define "love"? Came upon this website by chance...it had 292 definitions of love :p... but there was a few that that struck me...

It's love if: You have great chemistry: You get lost in your conversations, and the hours pass like minutes. You're more than willing to listen to her when she talks about her day. The chemistry between you is remarkable. You find her beautiful: Even if you catch her with no makeup on and her hair pulled back while she's unclogging a toilet, she still looks beautiful to you. You want to spend time with her: All you want to do is to be with her, whether you're having sex or not. Even if she tells you that sex will have to wait, you don't care. You see a future together: You experience the strange feeling that your life would be totally empty without her. You tell your friends and family that she may be The One, and you're even thinking about marrying her. You introduce her to your family: It becomes very important to you that your parents like her, and that she gets along with everyone close to you. You include her in all your plans: Whether you're going out with your male friends or taking your dog for a walk, you want her there with you. And if she's not there, you can't get her off your mind and sneak off to give her a quick "I miss you" phone call. Of course, you don't tell your buddies. You are more romantic: All of a sudden you find yourself listening to cheesy romantic songs and thinking of her. You send her flowers and love notes to work and set up romantic evenings candlelit dinners at home. You always take her side: If someone says anything even slightly disparaging about her, you immediately rise to her defense. Furthermore, in social gatherings, you always agree with her even if you disagree behind closed doors. She makes you want to be a better man: She challenges and motivates you. She makes you happy, and you'd do anything to make her happy.

love means risking your life to save theirs. love is giving them the last piece of cake, no matter how much you want it. love is giving your whole self and never holding back. love is when he remembers things that you forgot about yourself. love is when he reminds you of these things. love is when he's the only one that can figure you out, when you don't even know who you are. love is commitment. love is that tingly feeling you get and you don't know why. love is looking forward to waking up early in the morning just to watch them sleep. love is indvidual, you love them in your own way. love is true when no one can take it away, no matter how hard they try. love is holding onto them like tomorrow will never come.

Love is a choice

"We must understand that desire to love is not itself love. Love is an act of will – namely an intention and action." ....Scott Peck

As the great French writer Stendhal said "Love is a well from which we can drink only as much as we have put in, and the stars that shine from it are only our eyes looking in it."

In this sense love is a return on your investment for it. Love dies only when we don't know how to replenish its natural resources. If it dies it is because of our own errors, betrayals and aberrations.

Quotes that tickle my fancy

2006-02-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

Cunning... is but the low mimic of wisdom Plato

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something Plato

Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily Napoleon Bonaparte

Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principals which direct them. Napoleon Bonaparte

He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander Napoleon Bonaparte

When small men attempt great enterprises, they always end by reducing them to the level of their mediocrity Napoleon Bonaparte

Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret Laurence J. Peter

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought Laurence J. Peter

My personal favourite: "How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself”

Faith?

2006-02-16T19:06:00.000+08:00

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new students to stand and.......

Prof: So you believe in God? Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good? Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful? Student: Yes sir.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm? Student: (Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good? Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good? Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from? Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world? Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct? Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil? Student: (Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they? Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them? Student: (Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son... Have you ever seen God? Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God? Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter? Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him? Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat? Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold? Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.) Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is that your philosophical premise is flawed. Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life; just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor….. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey? Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir? Prof: (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, then are you not just teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.) Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have done so.

So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it, sir.. The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

BACKSTABBERS!!

2005-06-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

In my short years I am amazed at some people who think backstabbing would get them anywhere in life.

I'm actually quite curious whether backstabbers actually think they are doing what's right? What sort of sad little life have they had that they resort to sad petty little tactics?

Oh well to all you sad backstabbing idiots out there, (if ur reading this I know who you are!) just thought you should know that there's a special place with your name written on it....Lucifer loves company ;)

Looking for a job in KL

2005-04-12T18:45:00.000+08:00

Changing jobs....the mere mention of changing jobs brings not too fond memories...some distant, some recent.

I'm no stranger to the whole dance routine that everyone has to go through to get a "hopefully" good job. I'm 26 and I've been working since 16. In the last 10 years, I've been a waitress, sales promoter, office girl, admin exec, director, account manager, conference development manager, asst marketing manager....and in almost all of these jobs, i had to go through the whole process of looking for a job, applying for it, waiting anxiously for a call...getting disappointed when there are no calls...getting worried whether your resume was a source of laughter and amusement to some deranged HR manager....going for the interview and praying your hands are not sweaty and you don't fall flat on your face

Right now once again I'm embarking on the journey of looking for a job. Like every other person on this planet, i hate it! The whole thing is just totally unpleasant. And even if you get the job, you have to go through the whole process of getting to know new ppl, learning new things, assimilating to the new environment. And if you're really unlucky, you might end up like me right now. Sucky boss, stupid management (i.e. literally like Dilbert) and backstabbing colleagues. (If I'm not mistaken I have some colleagues on Friendster, and they might see this....but hey, if you're gonna act like one, be prepared to be called one to your face!!)

Preparing my resume now...gonna massively send it out...hoping to impress someone with it......till then, I'll sit here and anxiously wait, bite my nails, look at my phone, will it to ring (and hopefully its not my mom or sisters wanting something) ...and go for horrid interviews....

-sigh- working life in KL =p

When it rains in KL it pours

2005-04-10T22:24:00.000+08:00

working in KL has its ups and downs....and traffic jams and polluted air... I've been born and raised in KL and I just can't see myself living anywhere else.

Today started unlike normal days....its was raining cats and dogs.... Lovely time to just crawl back into bed and snuggle under my comforter with all my pillows....BUT that was not to be...was rudely awaken by the phone. My boyfriend telling me that he's coming to pick me up for work -sigh- and the day didn't get any better.

I work as a Asst Marketing Manager in a publishing firm. My office is right in the heart of KL. Jalan Raja Chulan. I head the marketing department in a so called "international" company which largely feels and functions like Dilbert.

So we were having an event in a hotel today and had to be there extra early to set up everything. Now me and my boyfriend kinda had a argument the night before...and right now if I'm not mistaken, I no longer have a boyfriend. I just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was him, i dunno, I just called it quits after 2 and a half years together.

But I'll rather not spend too much time whining away. My life is good. I'm young, I've got a bright future. I'm sure I'll survive without a man. And I refuse to whine about not having a man. Its alright, dogs are just as good a companion ;)

I'm back in the office now and I gotta go out on a meeting with my boss. Ohhhhh can't wait... =p

(just in case you're reading this and you don't know me that well....please read it with lots and lots of sarcasm ;) and don't take things that I say too overly serious)

alrighty then, time to go and be nice to some clients and hope this day doesn't end as badly as it started.